Crisis in Fluffytown
by Philzors
Summary: A paranormal investigator visits the rural town of Fluffytown to investigate strange happenings. Soon, he will be in over his head, and what he finds will be more than he ever could have imagined.
1. Welcome to Fluffytown

(Short disclaimer before we begin: This is my first story here and my first attempt at an extended fanfic, so comments, suggestions, what not, are welcomed.

Oh, and I've heard from differing sources about Rover being a cat or a dog...hence the cat-dog comment. I'm just going off the assumption that no one knows for sure. P

I hope all of you enjoy it!)

Episode 1: Welcome to Fluffytown

I hate trains. I've always hated trains. They're big, crowded, clunky and they scare the living daylights out of me. They're nothing but giant mechanical smoky beasts of smoking doom.

...So why am I on one? Why did I get selected for this stupid assignment? Why did I even wake up this morning? Why do birds suddenly appear? WHY!

...Ahem. Sorry about that. It's just...of all things, the Fluffytown assignment. Of all the things Big Eddie could have given me this morning, he had to give me the Fluffytown assignment, "straight off the press" as he said, even though it's really about four days old now. I'm sorry; I meant "Agent" Big Eddie, voted the official "Coolest Boss in the World" by my fellow employees at SPOOK International, which everyone thinks is an acronym when it really isn't. I'm not supposed to disrespect my superiors, for they are infinitely wise and compassionate.

Excuse me while I snicker.

Still, I'd rather pull the Loch Ness monster's teeth than go to Fluffytown. Pulling Nessie's teeth really isn't that bad. She's gentle, she takes it well, and she'll give you a signed picture afterwards. From the information I have on Fluffytown, I'm not sure I can expect any such treatment. The policemen, Copper and Booker, look too serious to sign pictures; the local merchant, Tom Nook, looks like he would sell his for an arm and a leg; and I think the mayor, Tortimer, is older than camera technology by a couple of decades. Still, they need SPOOK's help to decipher some weird phenomena that have been taking place in recent times, and a paranormal investigation firm is the last place that should be picky about the jobs they take. Still, couldn't they have given it to someone other than me?

For a moment, I almost forgot I was on a train. That was before this blue cat-dog-looking thing with wide red eyes decided to walk up and stare at me. Did I mention that trains are crowded?

"Hi there!" the animal said, still staring with those wide eyes. "I'm Rover! Who are you?"

_Annoyed,_ I thought to myself, but cleared my throat and gave a proper, professional response. "My name is Edgar," I said, shaking his paw, "and I'm from Capitaltown."

"Capitaltown!" He repeated the name of my hometown and his eyes somehow widened further. "Wow! That's such a big place! What do you do there?"

"I'm a treasure hunter," I replied, launching into the alibi that had been prepared for me.

"Treasure hunter?" His eyes bulged forth even farther and I started to worry. "Wow! Where are you going?"

"Oh, just some place called Fluffytown," I said, shrugging. "Got some rumor a couple of days back about some big treasure there. Thought I'd check it out personally."

"Big treasure?" Rover's eyes were now defying the laws of anatomy. "That's neat! I hope you find it!"

"Thanks!" I said, turning away, hoping that I had just ended the conversation. Rover continued to stand there, signaling that I had not.

"So," Rover continued, "do you have a place to stay in Fluffytown?"

"Yeah, I'm supposed to look up a guy named Tom Nook."

"You're in luck!" Rover's ears perked up. "Tom Nook is a good friend of mine. Let me call him up for you." He nodded his head quickly. "Fluffytown's just ahead, so there's not much time, and you might be out of luck if I don't get a word in for you."

I blinked. _Was he actually being useful?_ "Wow! Thanks!" I said, trying to hide my surprise.

"Anything for a friend!" Rover said with a wide smile as he ran off to the phone. I saw him enter the booth, and his expressions were animated as he talked, but I couldn't make out any words. He emerged a few minutes later, his smile still there.

"It's all set up for you!" he said, right before the announcement came over the speaker that the train was about to reach Fluffytown. "Just in time, too!" he added as the announcement ceased.

"Fluffytown, next stop!" the conductor repeated. "Doors opening on your left!" I looked out the window and saw trees and small buildings come into view. I sighed, knowing I was looking at my home for at least the next week, and picked up my suitcase. The train came to a jarring stop, and I was forced back into my seat as the sound of steam expelling entered my ears.

_At least I won't be on a train anymore_, I thought to myself as I stood up.

"Thanks for your help!" I said to Rover as I departed.

"Thank you, too!" Rover said. "Good luck in Fluffytown!" He waved to me and I brought my hand up slightly in a half-hearted wave. As I stepped off the train, watching it go, he was still watching me through the window with that wide-eyed smile.

With the train now long gone, I looked around at the area beyond the platform, my temporary home for the week. There were snow-capped trees in every direction. The ground was dusted with snow and had paw and hoof tracks in it. At first glance, Fluffytown looked like a normal town. This, of course, assumes that your definition of normal includes flying mail-carrying pelicans. Or raccoons in business suits.

"Oh ho ho!" the raccoon bellowed as he looked up at me. "What have we here? A newcomer? Oh, this is wonderful!"

"Are you Tom Nook?" I said, raising an eyebrow.

"The very same." He tugged on his suit.

"I'm Edgar from Capitaltown," I said, "the one Rover told you about."

"Rover?" Nook blinked his wide eyes. "I never got a call from a Rover. Come to think of it, I don't know anyone named Rover."

There was awkward silence for a moment.

"Didn't you get anything from SPOOK?" I asked tentatively.

"SPOOK?" Tom Nook cocked his head at me and squinted his eyes. Then, there was more silence. My superiors always told me the best way to break awkward silence was by showing your badge. I took out my wallet and flipped it open.

"These are my credentials," I said, extending my wallet out so that Nook could see it. "I'm a paranormal investigator. Our organization received a report about some strange phenomenon and I was sent to check it out." I flipped the wallet shut. "I just need a place to stay while I write up my report. It might take a week at most."

Tom Nook nodded his head.

"It doesn't have to be a fancy place," I continued, "in fact, as long as it has a roof and a bed, I'm happy. I've got an expense account and they can wire you the...are you listening to me?"

"What?" Nook shook his head. "Oh, I must apologize. I was admiring your suit."

"...My suit?"

"Yes, the sheen on it is remarkable." Nook reached out and felt my sleeve. "Oh, and the fiber content! Absolutely wonderful! I would die to have a suit like this."

"Can we get back to the house topic, please?" I rolled my eyes.

"Not to worry," Nook said, holding up his hands, "I heard everything. My ears are specially trained for words like 'expense account' and 'wire.' Fortunately, there are houses available for, say...ten thousand bells a day?"

I felt myself flinch and wish I hadn't. "Seven thousand?" I said weakly.

"I don't haggle," Nook said, flashing a smile. "What's the problem? I thought you had an expense account." He chuckled. "Why don't you call them right now and set it up?"

"Fine." I pulled out my phone and dialed SPOOK.

"SPOOK International! This is Diane speaking. How may I direct your call?"

"It's me, Edgar."

"Oh, hi, Edgar! How's Fluffytown!" I heard laughter on the other end and resisted the urge to gouge someone's eye out with the antenna. Nook, sensing my frustration, stepped back.

"Can you do a money transfer? I need ten thousand bells per day, and I'm looking at six, maybe seven, days..."

"Oh dear...I'm afraid I have some bad news about that."

_Bad news. Of course._

"You see, Miranda in accounting had her birthday recently, and we couldn't get everyone to chip in enough. So we had to clean out everyone's expense accounts, including yours."

"Clean out? I mean, it's great that Miranda had her birthday, but what in the world costs so much anyway? Did you buy her a car or something?"

"Oh, heavens, no. A car is much cheaper than that. Miranda's always wanted a yacht..."

"YACHT!"

Nook took several steps back.

"How could you...why did you...a yacht...my expense...gaaah!" My superiors always told me to take a deep breath in panic situations, so I did. It seemed like a good alternative to breaking the phone. "So when will I get the money?"

No response.

"Diane? Hello?"

Click

"Oh ho ho!" Tom Nook rubbed his hands together. "Having a little technical difficulty?"

I suppressed the urge to growl.

"Never fear, Mr. Paranormal Investigator. I have a solution for this problem. It just depends on how good you would look in my work uniform..."

"That's out of the question," I replied, exasperated. "I have a job to do!"

"But surely you understand my position, right?" Nook turned his head and winked suddenly. "I mean, surely you would not deprive my nephews of decent clothing..."

There was silence. Nook coughed. And coughed again. And coughed a third time.

"Are you okay?" I asked, but he waved dismissively.

"Surely...you...would...not...deprive...MY...NEPHEWS...of...decent...clothing..."

As if on cue, for some reason no one would ever figure out, two little raccoons emerged in burlap sacks. They had sad looks in their eyes.

"Help us out, mister!" squealed the first one.

"-mister!" the second one said a moment late.

"See how they live?" Nook wailed. "See how they suffer? Oh, the raccoonity!"

"Wait..." I peered in closer at the sacks. "These burlap sacks are solid gold!"

"But we want the diamond model!" said the first nephew.

"...model!" The second chimed in. I looked at them, then looked up at Nook and knew I was defeated.

"Very well," I said, "I'll work off the debt as long as it gets me a house."

"Excellent!" Nook said. "Come, I'll show you the place and then you can get started." As I followed him, I decided that working wouldn't be so bad. It would give me a nice excuse to meet the locals and gather more information. Who knows, I might even like this.

"Oh, by the way," Nook said, "I hope you won't miss that suit you're wearing. I thought I might pay you a little extra for it." He threw back his head and laughed. "Oh, and one other thing," Nook said, "I have a backlog right now, so I was wondering if you might work overtime?"

I sighed. _This is going to be a long week..._


	2. Getting to Know You

Episode 2: Getting To Know You

In my line of work, I'm required to look nice. It comes with the territory. You just don't walk into someone's house in a faded tee and ripped jeans and tell them they have a ghost problem. You have to look official, which means a suit and tie. More to the point, it means an itchy suit and a tie that chokes you. Because looking nice is all about being as uncomfortable as possible. As I rummaged through the racks of light blue Nook n' Chain uniforms in the back of the store, I realized a new dimension of discomfort. I finally decided on the one that made me chafe the least and marched out to model myself to my new boss.

"It looks a little tight," Tom Nook said, "but the price was right!" He threw back his head and laughed. "Now that you're all set up, let's get you off to work! I bet you can't wait to see your new house, hm? No, I should hope you cannot!" Nook chuckled. "Let's just call it motivation, hm?"

At this moment, the only motivation I had was a vision of Nook strapped to some sort of torture device. _Wouldn't that be nice, hm?_

"Take this to Bluebear, please," Nook said, thrusting a leaf into my hand.

"A leaf?" I turned it around and held it up high, looking at it from below. "Oh, I get it! This is a--"

My finger grazed the switch. A full-sized loveseat sprang into existence and promptly crushed me under its weight.

"--leaf compression system," I squeaked as Nook scrambled to re-compress the item.

"I suppose I should have warned you." Nook helped me up and then returned the leaf back to me. "Oh well, no harm done! Right? And if there is..." Nook leaned in close to me, his eyes intense. "Keep quiet about it. Those workers' compensation people are relentless!"

Unsure of how to reply to that, I just nodded.

"Well then, off with you!" Nook said jovially. "And no lolligagging now!" Nook shoved me out the door. I struggled to regain my footing and nearly fell into the brook running alongside the store. I stopped there for a moment, admiring the soft churning of the water, when the calm sound was abruptly replaced by the sound of Nook's voice in my mind: _Get to work!_ it snapped. _Great, _I thought to myself, _now he's in my mind._

Shaking my head, I went off in search of Bluebear, hoping that the search would be as obvious as I thought. Off to the north, a short distance away, there was a blue bear facing the river. _Jackpot. _

"Excuse me," I said to the bear as I approached, "are you Bluebear?"

"No," said the female voice. She turned, an angry look on her face and a net in one hand, "I'm not Bluebear, I'm Redbear. Red as in angry at you for what you made me do!" She growled and clutched the net. "I almost had that ladybug! Now I'll get you instead!" My eyes widened in horror as she raised the net over her head. I ducked out of the way just as she brought it down to the ground. She picked it up, swung again, and there were suddenly several birds and stars impeding my view of her. Through the pain, I could see her readying for another swing. I threw up my hands and braced for the onslaught.

"What are you doing?" said another female voice. I dropped my hands and saw a brown-and-white koala in floral print in front of me.

"Melba!" The anger left Bluebear's face, and she gazed at the net in her hand with a confused look. "What was I doing?"

"You were beating up the delivery boy with a net!" Melba said, her hands on her hips. They both looked at me as I held out the leaf in my hand.

"It's your loveseat," I explained. "It was lovely, indeed."

Melba took it. "Thank you, Mr...?"

"Edgar," I said, "from Capitaltown. I'm just visiting."

"Nice to meet you," Melba said. "Now, if you'll excuse us, I'm going to go calm Bluebear down." She put one hand on Bluebear's shoulder and guided her away. "I know how you like my gyroids, so I thought I might play the timpanoid suite. That's your favorite, isn't it?"

"Wait a sec," I said as they walked off, "did you say gyroids?"

"Yes..." Melba said, turning back

"You've gotta be kidding, right?" I suppressed laughter. "Those are the most annoying things in the world!"

Melba's face hardened and I felt a chill run up my spine.

"What did you say!"

"Umm...nothing!" I said, my voice cracking. "Nothing at all!"

"Give me that net," Melba growled. After that, everything went black.

--------------

--------------

"Oh, good, you're coming to!" I heard as my eyes slowly opened and let light in. "I was afraid I'd have to dock more pay."

I groaned as Tom Nook came into view.

"We thought you were dead!" said Nook's nephew, whose name I had been told was Timmy.

"-dead!" And that would be Tommy, late as usual. Looking at Tom Nook rubbing his hands together in glee, I suddenly wanted to take the nephews' suggestion.

"What happened?" I murmured, rubbing the knot in my head where I had been struck. "I said something about gyroids, and then--"

Nook cut me off with his raucous laughter. "You insulted gyroids? In front of Melba, the queen of gyroids?" Nook doubled over laughing. "Oh, that is too good!"

"What are you, a moron?"

"...moron?" I glared down at Nook's nephews.

"No matter," Nook said, straightening up, "You haven't lost that much time. Let's get you off your feet, hrm? Then we shall pretend this never happened." Nook gave a stout nod as I got to my feet, nearly losing my balance. "After all, the delivery was successful. Just take these and be off!" Nook handed me a stack of leaves, with notes attached, and gave me a curt wave.

As I stepped outside, I could tell that it was well past noon, as the sun was past its zenith and heading toward the horizon. I flipped through the stack of deliveries and saw that none of them were for Melba. Breathing a sigh of relief, I got to work.

By the time I finished, the sun had neared the horizon and the sky was laced with pink and orange. My body ached from all the walking and my mind was full of useless information. I was unable to ascertain any problems with the villagers, but I did learn all about their sordid love lives and favorite foods. Apparently, Cube has a crush on Olivia, who has a crush on Big Top, who has a crush on Agent S, who has a crush on vanilla bean cheesecake. I lurched forward as my brain, trying to reprocess all that information, decided to punish me for listening by making my temple throb. Massaging my forehead to alleviate the pain, I caught sight of Melba coming up to me. Seeing no place to hide, I instead approached her.

"I'm sorry," we said at the same time.

"Huh?" I jumped back a bit. "You go--"

"No, you go--"

"Well..." I scratched my head. "It was inappropriate of me to make such a comment about your favorite thing. I didn't know you liked gyroids so much, but ignorance is no excuse."

"Well..." Melba stabbed the ground with her foot. "I don't know what got into me. It's like this power came over me and I felt the need to, well..." She smiled and her cheeks went flush.

"Beat me over the head with a bug-catching net," I said.

"Right." Melba chuckled. "Anyway, I wanted to give you something to make up for what I did. I left it at your doorstep. Just consider it a token of sincere apology." Melba curtsied to me and left. I watched her go as new ideas ran through my head. _A power that induces the need for violence..._

I returned to Nook n' Chain with my hands empty of deliveries. Nook greeted me at the door.

"Excellent work!" he said, clapping his hands. "And punctual, too. I do say this more than makes up for earlier." He nodded vigorously to support his last point. "Why don't you go see your new home?"

"Thank you, sir!" I said, feeling a great sense of relief. "Same time tomorrow?"

"Oh, that won't be necessary," Nook replied, waving me off. "You've got work to do, Mr. Paranormal Investigator. Just don't break anything! Repair costs are expensive, hm?" With that, he shut the door.

A cold breeze whipped past my face as I strolled along the cobblestone path to my house. Its blue roof was the first thing that rose up to greet me as I approached it. More features of the house emerged as I neared. It had its own cobblestone clearing and a mailbox planted out front. Size-wise, it wasn't much to write home about--it was slightly larger than my own apartment back in Capitaltown--but it would do nicely. The simple wooden door had a box at its foot. I picked it up and saw a simple note that said "From Melba--Enjoy!" I took the box in one hand and opened the door.

The last of the sunlight poured in through the window, illuminating the interior well enough for me to see the furnishings. There was a twin-size bed with polished brown handles and blankets stacked atop its mattress. A tea table and two chairs were tucked into one corner, next to the refrigerator and microwave. A writing desk straddled the opposite corner. _Wow,_ I thought as I plopped down onto the bed, _Nook sure knows how to decorate. _I stretched out on the bed, kicking my shoes onto the carpet, and admired the ornate wallpaper. _This is perfect._

A sudden thud jolted me out of my bliss. The box that contained Melba's gift swayed slightly and then settled back down. Raising one eyebrow, I grabbed it and looked inside.

"...dekkoid!" said the thing inside.

"...dekkoid?" I said weakly, my eye twitching. I pulled out the gyroid, a small figurine with a blank expression, and placed it onto the floor facing the doorway.

_Thanks, Melba_. I shook my head and flopped back onto the bed. _So much for sleep tonight. _


	3. The Rosy Cheeked Girl

(Author's Note: First of all, if you've come this far, thanks for your dedication! This is a slightly longer chapter that probably contains uncaught typos or grammatical errors somewhere. I've been swamped with school lately and have only now been able to crank this chapter out. It's a tad rushed, but I wanted to compromise on the side of releasing it rushed rather than prolonging it because it's late anyway and all of you who have been reading deserve to be rewarded.

Secondly, I've totally forgotten to include the legalese that should have been established up front. So, here it is: Animal Crossing and its characters are the intellectual property of Nintendo, borrowed here by me with all due respect and humility. Nintendo provided the canvas with their great game and awesome characters, and I hope to provide a different portrait here with my fanfic.

And most of all, enjoy! I love hearing comments, but what I love most is the feeling that someone out there is entertained by this.)

Episode 3: The Rosy-Cheeked Girl

At about 5:57 a.m., sunlight infiltrated the interior of my house through the blinds. I knew the exact time because I was peering at the alarm clock through the small sliver of my eyesight. The digits distorted themselves as I began to close my eyes completely. I felt sleep finally overtaking me when a sound jarred me back into reality.

"Dekkoid!"

_Dekkoid...oh, how I rue the day you came into my life._ I threw my blankets off and stood up, swaying like a flower whose stem is broken by the wind as my feet struggled to remember their function. Shaking my head, I eventually brought the slowly- waking world back into view. "Coffee," I muttered to myself, the first profound thought of my day.

"Dekkoid?" I looked down at the gyroid on the floor; it looked up at me with a blank stare.

"Cof-fee," I said to it.

"Dekk-oid?"

"Cof-fee!" I repeated in frustration, reaching out to tap the gyroid on its nose. As I touched the cold surface of its nose, it promptly stiffened and soon stopped moving entirely. I stared at its inert form for a few moments, first blinking rapidly and then feeling a full eye twitch coming on.

_An off switch...of course it came with an off switch..._

Before I could damage my mind any further, I decided to get down to business. Tom Nook had graciously left me a map of Fluffytown; I picked it up and saw that there was a coffee shop attached to the museum to the north. As I stepped outside, I heard the hour chime, an odd-sounding ditty that made my ears want to bleed. The smell of dew dripping off the grass struck me as I began my trek north, but it was the idea of freshly-brewed coffee that gave me the power to wobble into the museum. There was an owl sleeping in the center of the lobby; beyond him were the exhibits. As I slipped past him, I heard him muttering fitfully. It was something about ladybugs. I quickly went downstairs.

As the coffee shop came into view, the smell of the coffee as it dripped slowly into the pot was so overwhelming that my eyes perked open with a will of their own. I drifted toward the only open stool with the gait of a zombie and claimed it as my own. The soft music from the player piano instantly calmed me down and sleep threatened once more.

"You look like you could use some coffee," said the pigeon behind the counter. "Fortunately, I've got my special Brewster blend today. Named after me. Want a cup?"

I nodded several times and handed him a pouch of bells from my pocket. He took it, counted the bells, and jumped up slightly.

"Wow," he said, "this is quite gracious, Mr...?"

"Edgar," I said. "And don't worry about it. From the smell of your coffee, I know it'll be worth it." What I didn't tell him was that I'd given him a quarter of the spending money I'd stashed for the trip. The money Nook didn't even find.

With a shrug, Brewster put the bells in the register and went to pour the coffee. I looked around and saw more zombified faces around me. To my left was a pelican drooped so low her neatly manicured beak was touching the tip of her coffee cup, threatening to knock it over.

"I guess you need coffee, too," I said with a chuckle.

"No, I really just need courage," she replied with a weak smile. "You see, I work at town hall, and there's this colleague of mine who delivers mail..."

"Ahh, so you have a crush?"

"What?" She perked up, her long eyelashes shooting outwards. "How could you tell?"

At that moment, my coffee arrived, and I stirred it slowly before taking the first sip, letting the coffee burn my tongue.

"That's always the subject of any sentence that begins 'There's this person...' It's just something I noticed."

"You seem like a wise person," she said, "so maybe you can tell me what I should do."

"I can't," I said, trying to sound as cheerful as possible. "I've never gone past the 'There's this person...' stage myself." I saw her shoulders sag, but decided to continue anyway. "You seem to like this place, though, so maybe you could ask if he wants to come here after a delivery or something. Just start small." I picked up my cup and drank some more of the coffee, breathing in its aroma through my nose.

"You know, I was thinking the same thing," she said, "but it seemed so hard when I said it. Maybe I just needed to hear it from someone else." She straightened up and a hint of color came across her cheeks. "Thank you, Edgar. My name is Pelly, and it's a pleasure to meet you." She took my hand and shook it softly. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Actually..." I stirred my coffee again. "I'm an investigator from SPOOK International. Have you ever heard of them?"

"SPOOK International..." Pelly tapped her beak. "As I recall, we've had visitors from SPOOK before. Apparently, we drove them insane."

"Insane would be an understatement." I chuckled. "We got another tip, though, and this one seems to be legitimate." I drank some more coffee. "Have you noticed anything odd about the residents of this town recently? Any...violent tendencies?"

"Violent tendencies?" Pelly laughed. "Edgar, I'm a clerk at town hall. People are always angry with me. Sometimes it's the speed of the delivery system. Other times it's the environment. Mostly, people are bothered by that bloody town tune we have." She clenched her fist. "Oh, it's so awful! I want to find whoever made that town tune and--" She stopped, looked around suddenly, and then straightened up in her seat. "Oh, dear, did I say that out loud?"

"Yes. Yes, you did." I nodded gravely. "I think this is typical of the problem that Fluffytown has been experiencing. I have special equipment that I can use to check the air and water for harmful chemicals, but I need to obtain permission from your mayor to do the water analysis."

Brewster stopped, the glass in his hand emitting a screech as he abruptly stopped rubbing its inside with his rag. "Did you say...water analysis?" he asked slowly, feathers perking up. He shot an involuntary glance at the coffee pot. I looked from him down to my coffee cup and suddenly felt a tight knot in my stomach.

"Oh, don't worry," I said, cracking a nervous smile, "it's just procedure. They hardly ever amount to anything." I kept the smile up while I stared down at my coffee, suddenly losing any desire to finish it. Looking away, I gripped the saucer with my hand and slid it slowly back to Brewster.

"I understand," Brewster said, taking it with a somber look on his face. "Good coffee mustn't be tainted."

"Until we meet again, friend." I nodded to Brewster and rose from my stool. As I left the museum, daylight from the rising sun struck my face. I looked back, seeking refuge from the rays, and saw Pelly leaving as well.

"I'd better get to work," she explained. "I'll get those papers filed and on Mayor Tortimer's desk right away. He'll sign anything that gets thrown in front of him, so consider it done."

"Thank you." I felt my smile spread. _Finally, someone on my side._ "And good luck with that other thing, too." I noticed her cheeks were flush again.

"Thank you for everything, Edgar," Pelly replied quickly as she strolled off toward town hall. After she was gone, I slowly retraced my steps back to my place and, before I really knew what I was doing, flopped onto the bed and began to slip out of consciousness...

_Ring._ The sound penetrated the edge of my mind to where I knew any hope of sleep was gone anyway. I opened my eyes slowly and the digits came into view, reading 11:00.

_Ring._ I groaned and went to pick it up. "Hello?" I said groggily into the receiver.

"Edgar!" I yanked the phone back. "You'd better have some progress on this Fluffytown thing."

"Y-yes, sir," I stammered, "I'm getting ready to run some tests--"

"Getting ready?" Big Eddie yelled. "Getting ready! I know this job is considered a big joke, but that doesn't give you the right to slack off!" Cringing, I yanked the phone away from my ear while the scolding continued. Some people say Big Eddie is only intimidating in person. Certainly, the sight of a giant enraged moose might be enough to chill anyone's blood. Still, anyone who says that has never spoken to Big Eddie over the phone.

"Yes sir! I'll do my best, sir!" I shouted through Big Eddie's rant and promptly hung up. Knowing I would pay for that later, I decided to at least have some work done when the reaper came. Grabbing my suitcase, I opened it and rummaged through wrinkly changes of clothes and endured the minty smell of the busted tube of toothpaste to find my water analysis kit. Hefting it in my arms, I went outside and set it down by the brook. It consisted of a console with a ball attached to it through a long piece of wire. I picked up the ball and squeezed it to check that it would still work out, marveling briefly in the cleverness of the technology. The ball was made of a compound heavy enough to sink, but porous enough that it could act like a sponge. It would collect the water into the system, where the console unit would perform tests on it for various different chemicals and pathogens. In short, it was a neat little gadget.

"Here goes nothing," I muttered to myself as I shoved the ball into the brook. _Testing the water was my first hunch, and I don't have much else to go off of..._

"Howdy, neighbor!" came a voice behind me. I turned and saw Big Top the elephant sitting beside me. "What's shakin', villain?"

"Oh, uhh...just running some tests."

"Tests?" Big Top's ears flopped up. "Is that the big city term for fishing? 'Cause that's the weirdest pole I've ever seen." He picked up the console and shook it, causing its warning alarm to go off. "Does that mean you're catching something?"

"Let go of that!" I shouted, snatching it from his hands. "It's very sensitive equipment." I set it down into the muddy ground and breathed a sigh of relief as its warning wails subsided. "I don't mean to be rude, but this is very important."

"Hmph," Big Top grunted by way of reply, folding his arms. "I see what's going on." He turned and began to walk away.

"Big Top...I didn't mean to--"

"This is all part of your evil plan!" he said, turning at breakneck speed and stabbing one finger out at me. "You're trying to put a mind control device into the water of Fluffytown so you can, uhh...err...dominate the world somehow!" He clenched his hand into a fist and held it high. "I don't know exactly how you plan to do this, villain, but you will not succeed!"

He lunged at me, grabbing my chest and pinning me to the ground. Looking away, I could see the console swaying slightly, but holding its position. I threw up my arms to try and get Big Top off of me, but he kept me pinned as he leaned over me and grabbed for the console.

"No!" I screamed as he hit the console and sent it careening toward the water, where it would short out and ruin all my work. I lunged past Big Top and flung out my hand, batting the console away as it neared the water. I breathed a sigh of relief over the console just as my body hit water. When I resurfaced, a girl was standing near the brook, holding the console in both hands. Big Top was sitting on the bank, shaking his head.

"You're not the paranormal investigator, are you?" she inquired, holding up the kit. Feeling a sudden flush of embrassment, I looked up at her, water droplets stinging my eyes, and nodded slowly. To my surprise, she smiled and clasped her hands together.

"I'd hug you, but you're a little wet," she said, extending her hand. "It is nice to see you here in Fluffytown, though. I'm Rei, the one who called in the report." As I took her hand and let her pull me onto land, Big Top stood up.

"I'm sorry, guys," he said slowly, as if dazed, "I don't know what came over me."

"I think I know what did," I said, pointing down at the console in Rei's hand.

Five teeth-chattering minutes later, I sat in the grass near town hall with several of Rei's towels wrapped around me. The gentle late morning breeze would have been a wonderful thing on a day like this had I not just gone swimming. Instead of soothing my nerves, the breeze cut through me like a frozen knife, causing me to lurch over and pull the towels closer for warmth.

"Thanks for getting these," I managed to say to Rei as she looked back with concern filling her wide eyes. "Don't worry, I'll be fine. We paranormal investigators are trained for this type of work."

"Somehow, I'm not too sure of that." Rei rolled her eyes. "I'm not sure I would have thought of the water, though." She pulled a strand of her long, brown hair out of her eyes with one hand as she lifted up the kit in the other. "This thing isn't broken, is it?"

"It shouldn't be," I said, taking it from her and examining the readout on the screen. When my eyes found the bottom line, I jumped back.

"What is it?"

"Well..." I looked from the readout to her, "either it is broken, or we definitely have something." I pointed to the last line of the readout:

"Trace amount, 7 parts per 1 million particles: Substance unknown. Effects on water quality unknown."

"Unknown?" Rei blinked, her long lashes fluttering. "If your equipment can't figure out what it is, then it has to be what's making my friends act this way. We don't know of any other substance that can do that, right?"

"Right," I said as a chill passed through me. This one had nothing to do with the breeze. "You don't know where I can get a wet suit, do you?"

"Wet suit?" Her eyes widened. "You mean, you're going to dive in?"

"It doesn't look like I have a choice," I replied, "not if I want to get to the bottom of this. Literally." I stood up, unwrapped the towels, and handed them back to Rei. "Thanks for your help."

"Anytime," Rei shot back, squeezing the water out of the towels. "Anyway, you look dry enough now, so..." She threw her arms around me. "Thank you for coming. It really means a lot to me." She broke off the embrace. "I know you guys probably laugh about this place all the time, but I really do think something big is happening here. It's just this feeling I have."

"Whatever it is," I said, nodding solemnly, "I'll take care of it." As a reply, she nodded and I caught a hint of color rising in her cheeks.

"Anyway, I've got to go," she said, patting my hand. "My friend Tom is moving in and I have to go help him. Good luck with everything!" She started to walk away, then turned back. "Oh, and I'll get started on that wet suit. I know a very talented seamstress!" With that, she skipped away, leaving me alone with drippy clothes, a water analysis kit, and the early afternoon breeze.

On my way home, I spotted Pelly and waved to her. "How'd it go with you-know-who?" I asked as she approached.

"Funny you should ask," she said, stabbing the ground with her foot. "I'm meeting him for coffee right now during my lunch break!" she quickly burst out. "I'm so excited! And it's all thanks to you."

"I wouldn't say that. You did all the hard work; I just shoved you out the door."

"If you say so." Pelly clasped her hands together, trying to conceal her excitement. "Anyway, how's your morning been?"

"Oh, I'm doing all right," I replied, failing to hold back a grin. "You see, there's this girl..."


	4. Voyage to the Deep

Episode 4: Voyage to the Deep

When I woke up, the sun was already approaching its zenith and the bright sunlight blinded me through the open window. I glanced over at the clock and saw that it read 10:00. Stretching my arms wide, I felt more comfortable in this moment than I'd been in the past two days. I felt as if pure energy was coursing throughout my body as I quickly showered, humming a tune over the soft sprinkle of the water, toweled off and donned my typical black suit, and consumed a quick breakfast of eggs and toast. When I opened the door and let the fresh smell of nature in, I was greeted by a harsh wail. Jumping back, I looked over and saw that it was my mailbox; it flag was raised high and it was beeping at me as if I'd neglected it. Which I had. I stretched a ginger hand toward the mailbox handle and pulled it open. Letters flew out of the box and struck me in the face before I could get them under control and in my hands. I leaned back against the cold concrete of my house and began reading.

_To my new friend Edgar: I apologize if you and Mr. Dekkoid got off on the wrong foot. Enclosed is a booklet entitled "Your Gyroids and You: Fifteen steps to a happy Gyroid family." Please follow these tips and give Mr. Dekkoid a second chance. I know you two can have a lot of laughs and dekkoids together. Love and Gyroids, Melba_

_P.S. I trust you're not the kind of monster that would resort to the off switch. _

Laughing nervously, I looked at the next letter and saw that it was from Big Eddie. So was the next one, and the one after that. Deciding to save those for a time when I was feeling more courageous, I shuffled past them and found one that smelled of perfume.

_Dear new neighbor: We haven't had much opportunity to talk, but I do hope that more opportunities will come when you aren't so hard at work. My friends are coming to visit soon and they've heard all about you! Perhaps we can all have dinner at my place when they arrive. Take care! -Olivia. _

I sighed. It was such a nice offer, but I've always had an aversion to cat hair. It's made for some embarrassing situations, such as my short-lived stint with a cat partner at SPOOK. At least Mittens was cool with it.

I opened the final letter and smiled.

_Dear Edgar: I finally found out that was your name! I can't believe I forgot to ask you. I guess I was so caught up in everything I didn't even consider it. I just wanted to let you know that your suit will be ready this afternoon; come by the Able Sisters' shop to retrieve it. And thank you again. This is so courageous of you; I only hope it works out! -Rei. _

Even though it was well before afternoon, I decided to pay Rei a visit. I spent half the walk to the Able Sisters' convincing myself that it was strictly business. By the time I reached the store, I had failed utterly. I pushed the door open and all eyes turned to me, as did two sets of quills.

"Hi!" one of the Ables said with a cordial smile. "You must be the person from SPOOK. I'm Mabel, proprietor of the store. Come on in and make yourself comfortable."

"Thanks," I said with a slight bow. As I walked through the store, I felt like I would be swallowed by fabric. Spools of thread and bolts of fabric of all colors and textures were strewn about with the merchandise, and I felt needles crunching under my feet. I silently thanked myself for wearing shoes inside the place. There was hushed conversation coming from the back; I made my way through the mess and spotted Rei sitting at a table with the other Able sister. Each had a piece of the suit in their hand and was sewing rapidly. When Rei saw me, she smiled and held her piece up.

"Like it?" she said nervously. "It's a special kind of rubber that's easy to sew together without unraveling in water. It should be just what you need." She held it out. "Here. Feel it."

As I touched the fabric, my fingers jerked back involuntarily. After another touch, I found it to be oddly comfortable. The black material was stretchy, like nylon, but I could tell there was no room for leakage.

"It's perfect," I said. "You guys are awesome!"

"Thanks!" said the other Able sister with a sigh.

"Something wrong?" I asked her.

"Oh, Sable's always like that on Wednesdays," Mabel shouted from the front. "She hates missing her favorite soap, even though I always tape it."

"Mabel!" Sable's quills rose up in annoyance. "You're embarrassing me! What's our visitor going to think of a rabid Pointed Love fan?"

_P...Pointed...Pointed Love!_

"Edgar, is something wrong?" Rei asked, raising her eyebrow. "You've got an odd look on your face."

"I..." I trailed off, twiddling my fingers for a second. "I love Pointed Love."

"Really?" Sable said with a gasp, while Rei held back laughter. "What do you think's going to happen to Esther? I can't stand it! I want to know who the mystery porcupine is!"

"Mystery porcupine? They already..." I stopped when I realized where I was. _With Fluffytown so far away, they probably use a different station for their programming. I watched that episode before I left..._

"Already what?" Sable was leaning forward and I found myself perilously close to her quills.

"Already, uhh...nothing. Nothing at all." I tried to back away, but Sable and Rei each had arms on me.

"You get the broadcasts on time, don't you?" Rei burst out in a literal squeal. "See, Sable? He'll tell us the mystery porcupine is Ronald, just like I thought it was."

"Nonsense, my dear," Sable retorted, "it has to be Luciano! It just HAS to be!"

"Actually," I said, trying not to chuckle, "It's Gordon."

"Gordon?" They both cocked their head sideways. "What!" I thought momentarily that the shout might level the store. When I opened my eyes, the two of them seemed relatively calm.

"So, Edgar," Sable continued, "tell us more!"

"We want all the juicy details," Rei added, seizing my arm. That was how I spent the next two hours of my life discussing my favorite soap opera in the most unlikely place under the most unlikely circumstances. I have to commend Sable and Rei for being more civil than the people at the official Pointed Love online discussion forums. Geez...after going in there, you'd think Loch Ness was a hot spring vacation resort...

"Wow," I said of the nearly-finished suit, "you guys have done an awesome job! It's not every day that I submerge myself in a lake, but thanks to your work, I think I'll be just fine." They looked up and smiled at me. "In fact, once I get everything prepped, I could go as early as an hour from now..."

As if summoned by some karmic force, a loud sound shook the walls of the store. It sounded like a thunderclap. Jolted out of my chair by the impact, I got up and peered out the window just in time to see the heavens open and torrential rain come spewing out.

"Wonderful. Just wonderful. " I buried my face in my hands. As if to accent my frustration, a bolt of lightning flashed nearby and bathed the entire store in white.

"It's okay," Rei said, walking over to stand at the window with me. "We'll just finish the suit anyway, and then you can go tomorrow."

"No." I shook my head. "The rain could spread those trace amounts of metal to who knows where." I turned to face her and saw that her eyes had widened significantly. "I have to go today. As soon as I can."

"Today?" Rei sputtered. "In this? Edgar, you're insane."

"Just see what you can do with the suit," I replied, nodding knowingly. "I'll take care of the rest."

"Edgar," Sable called after me, "at least take an-"

I pushed the door open and ran out into the rain.

"-umbrella."

Shaking my head, I started running back to my house. On the way, I noticed a boat attached to the docks on the shore. I turned and ran toward them instead.

"You two!" I called out to what I figured were the boat's crew. "Can you sail this thing upriver?" The first one looked up; through his yellow raincoat, I saw the unmistakable face of a kappa.

"Well, that's quite the introduction, lad!" he shouted. "No 'Nice to meet you, I'm wet-soaked lad with water-for-brains' just 'You there, scrappy ol' turtle boy! Risk life and limb, will ye?'" He inclined his head very slightly. "It's Kapp'n to you, lad, and I'd bow to you, but it'd cause me to, well..."

"I get the point," I said, panting, "but this is important. There's something in the water that has to come out. Now."

"What goes in the water stays in the water, mannn," said Kapp'n's companion. "You gotta learn to go with the flow, mannn..."

"Pascal's right, matey," Kapp'n piped in, "whatever has to be done can wait."

"No, it can't!" I shouted. "This is my job we're talking about here! This is what I was brought here to do! If you're not going to help me, then at least--" I cut myself off when I realized I had Kapp'n pinned to the ground. Water pattered harshly off my back as I slowly snapped out of it and realized that I, too, had been affected.

"Edgar, I've got the suit--" Rei stopped in the mud and cocked her head at me.

"--ready."

"Sorry about that," I said to Kapp'n, pulling him back onto his feet.

"Ye'd better be, lad," he shot back. "I'd wrestle ya all over the place for that cheap shot."

"But this is why I need the boat," I said as calmly as I could. "This is what we can put a stop to right now." Kapp'n's gaze went from me, over to Rei, and then back to Pascal. Finally, he let out a heavy sigh.

"You owe me a lot of cucumbers, boy." He turned to Pascal and nodded. Wordlessly, they prepared the boat for sail even as the violent winds threatened to carry it out into the sea. Rei, who was kind enough to bring along a jumbo-sized umbrella, led me back to my house so I could change and grab my water analysis kit. Inside, I dried off and put on the suit, watching as it contoured itself to my body. _Perfect._

When I stepped outside, I saw the boat floating wildly in the brook, moored to the shore by a rope. I stepped inside and saw several pieces of equipment by me.

"This is yer lifeline, lad," Kapp'n said, pointing to the diving helmet and line. "Once ye've found yer precious treasure, tug twice and we'll pull your sorry sea-legs back into the boat. If ye get in trouble, tug on it three times, and we'll get you right away." Kapp'n looked sternly up at the sky. "This kinda weather would beach even the mightiest fish, so tread lightly in the deep waters, y'hear?" Kappn's face lit up as he pointed to the next item. "Oh, this here's yer oar. You know what it's for."

"Aye aye, Kapp'n." After an awkward salute, I threw the wire into the water, grabbed my oar and started rowing us slowly upstream. As we approached the waterfall at the north end of town, my arms started aching in tune to the rising intensity of the readout on the console.

"Whatever it is," I said, panting, my arms seemingly catching fire, "we're almost there." We entered the pond into which the waterfall dumped and the console officially freaked out. I set down my oar and picked up the helmet.

"Remember what I said, lad," Kapp'n said as I put on the helmet, "two times once ye find it, three if ye get in trouble."

"You're crazy, mannnn," Pascal said, his voice muffled through the helmet, "but good luck."

_Splash._ I held my lips tight, suppressing the initial shock as my body met the cold water and fell downward. Opening my eyes, I looked around my watery surroundings, which were mired by the rain coming down from above. Being able to breathe down here was fascinating; I decided I could probably spend an eternity down here if I wanted to. I just preferred not to.

My musings stopped when I saw it. Wrapped in algae, it still shone brightly, a ray of gold through the murky water. I swam over to it and wrapped my hands around it, dragging it closer. It fit snugly in my grasp, but it was heavy; I strained to hold it with one hand as I wiped the green off of it with my other hand. It looked like it was an idol of something, but I couldn't tell of what. Hugging it to my chest with one arm, I tugged twice with the other arm. Moments later, I was being lifted back up to the surface.

The first thing I saw when I surfaced was the side of the boat, which I grasped with my free hand as Kapp'n and Pascal hoisted me back into the boat. The second thing I saw was the crowd that was gathered at the edge of the pond, watching me as I took off my helmet and set the object down in the boat. Rei was there, along with Big Top, Melba, Olivia, and several others. As I stared over at them, they all started clapping. I waved back weakly.

"Sounds like you've got groupies, mannn," Pascal said as we rowed to the shore. I stepped off the boat, the object in hand, and was swarmed by the crowd.

"Way to go, Edgar!" Rei shouted over all of them. Despite the rain still coming down, I cracked a wide smile at that.

"All right, people, break it up," came a voice from outside of the crowd, and everyone parted. I was staring at two police officers. "Good evening, sir, I'm Officer Copper, and I want to know just where you got that."

"It was in the pond..." I turned back.

"I see," Copper replied, raising his eyebrow. "Why don't we discuss this matter at the station?"

"Station?" I blinked. "Well...okay, but..."

"Booker, cuff him."

"What!" I said, and heard echoed by Rei, who was the first to recover. "Officer, he's done nothing wrong. He was just--"

"If you'll excuse me, Miss, I think I know exactly what he was doing." Copper turned to his partner. "Well?"

"I'm sorry about this, sir," Booker said to me as he took the idol, turned me around and set the handcuffs in place. "If they're not comfortable, let me know and I'll adjust them..."

"That's quite enough, Booker." Copper cocked his head in the direction of the station. "Let's get going." He gave me a shove and started me in the direction of the station, a large crowd of confused faces looking after me.

As we left, the rain stopped.


	5. Interlude: Sirius Rising

Interlude 1: Sirius Rising

Cityscape. Bright lights. The vast infrastructure of Capitaltown sprawls itself out before the dark figure standing atop one of its tallest buildings. The harsh wind knocks his cape and his floppy ears about, but he stands firm, watching the monorail below twist its way around the city as it prepares to shut down for the night, a small series of blinking lights across a vast luminescence. _I didn't cross the galaxy to let a minor breeze bother me,_ he thinks to himself, cracking a smile. _After so long, we're so close..._

Another figure approaches and falls to his knees.

"You summoned me, Lord Nefarious?" he says nervously.

The dark figure turns, using his nose to sniff out the identity of the interloper. He catches the scent and his ears perk up, content with what he sees through his non-patched eye. He nods slowly, the rough leather of his eyepatch bending outward as he does.

"What news?" he says in a low growl. The one on his knees looks up excitedly.

"My lord, I have located the Idol." He looks up, fishing for a compliment.

"Good work," Lord Nefarious replies. "And have you proceeded to recover it?"

"Not yet, sir," the figure says, his voice breaking, "but my reconnaissance indicates that it's in a place called Fluffytown."

"Fluffytown...I see. And do you have a plan?"

"Of course, my lord. The double agent should be arriving even as we speak."

"Excellent." Lord Nefarious claps one fisted hand into the palm of the other. "So, we shall have it soon."

"We shall, my Lord."

"This is a good day for the the Dogstar empire," Lord Nefarious says, lifting up his hands. "For decades, our progress toward superiority has been checked by the meddling Galactic Nations and their insistence on such outmoded concepts like 'not stealing your mother's weight in gold' and 'not blowing up defenseless planets for amusement.' Once we have our Idol back, we will shirk off their oppression and show this galaxy the true might of Sirius!"

"Y-yes, my lord."

"Can you feel it?" Lord Nefarious chuckles. "Even now, this pathetic planet, oblivious to our presence, trembles before our might anyway. Can you imagine the entire galaxy submitting to us?"

"Y-yes...uhh, Lord Nefarious?"

"What?" Lord Nefarious rolls his eyes.

"Can I go now? I need to use the bathroom."

Lord Nefarious sighs. "Fine. Go. And then we will crush Fluffytown."

"Y-Yes, my lord." The figure spun and retreated quickly from the room, his ears perked wide up as he wobbled away. Lord Nefarious watched him go and then dialed a button on his comlink.

"Yes, Lord Nefarious?" came the voice from the other end.

"Ready my transport, please. I must pay a visit to my friends at SPOOK International."

* * *

_(Author's Note: I love ending on cliffhangers. XD _

_Unfortunately, it's that time of the year again, where final exams rear their ugly paper heads. They're not going to be over until next week, so Episode 5 is going to take a little longer than usual to get put up. Look forward to it!) _


	6. The Advent of the Dogstar

Episode 5: The Advent of the Dogstar

Dusk swiftly approached as the light pouring in through the bars of my cell rapidly subsided, leaving me with no light but that of the lamp on Booker's desk. While Copper busied himself on the phone in the other room, I listened to the steady drip of water from the leaky pipe in the corner of my cell and the pleas of my friends in the other room.

"Why are you doing this?" That was Rei's voice. "Edgar was trying to save us!"

"I don't know him very well, but he's really proven himself." I guessed that to be Tom.

"I'm sorry, but I can't do anything! Please stop, there's really nothing I can do." That was definitely Booker.

"But this doesn't make any sense!" Rei snapped. Shaking my head, I stood up and walked to the edge of my cell. "Let it go, guys," I shouted from that point. "Thanks for coming, but I'm going to cooperate with them. We'll settle this peacefully." Fatigue caused me to slouch and I said, my voice more subdued, "I'm sure it's all just a misunderstanding." as if I were trying to reassure myself more than them.

"Keep it down in there!" Copper shouted from the other room, ending the conversation more effectively than I did. I heard a frustrated sigh and then two sets of footsteps growing gradually lighter.

_Slam._ I withdrew from the bars and laid down on the hard cot, trying to ignore the incessant drip and get some sleep. Between the drip, the chirp of crickets, and a constant paper shuffle from the other room, it took four hours, or about twenty thousand sheep.

_Twenty thousand one...twenty thousand two...twenty thousa...  
_

_

* * *

_

* * *

I had an awesome dream before I woke up. I dreamt K.K. Slider, _the_ K.K. Slider, was standing over my bed and telling me to get up. When I opened my eyes, there was a K.K. Slider impersonator in front of me. _Wait a minute..._

"K-K-K-K.K..."

"Yo." He bowed his head slightly and flashed a smile, exposing a full mouth of perfectly white teeth. I rubbed crust out of my eyes, so I could see him better, and caught a glimpse of his famous guitar behind him. "Edgar, is it? Nice to meet you, bro."

"I...I..." I felt my face go white as I struggled to think of anything to say to my favorite idol. "I have one of your ringtones."

"Cool, man. Cool." K.K smiled again. Copper and Booker entered the cell and stood behind him. "Listen, I gotta give you the lowdown about that thing you brought up. Word on the street is you're a cool cat, but with times like this, you just never know."

"What do you mean?"

"Well..." K.K. sighed as if he were deflating. "What would you say if I told you I wasn't from this rock?" I stopped and scratched my chin where stubble was beginning to form.

"Normally," I replied, "I'd faint. But I'm from SPOOK, and we get paid good Bells to expect the unexpected." K.K. and I shared a laugh. "You, of all people, though...I do have to admit I'm pretty surprised."

"That's what everyone said when I told them," K.K. said, shrugging. "Anyway, I come from a planet in the Sirius cluster. Dogstar Two, to be precise. You ever met anyone from Dogstar, Edgar?"

"Can't say I have. The farthest we've ever communicated is Mars. We still get nasty phone calls from those Martians we inadvertently woke up."

"Yeah, those Martians can be cranky. I got chased out of a bar there for messing up a riff." K.K. shook his head. "Anyway, be glad you never met a Dogstar soldier. They're strong, cranky, and have puffed-up egos. Of course, if I controlled a quarter of the galaxy and were insanely rich, I would have the ego part, too..."

"They control the galaxy?" I asked, looking out the window at the morning sky.

"Dogstars started out as your run-of-the-mill space pirates, but they became something much greater." I noticed Copper and Booker stiffen. "Once they got enough treasure, they realized it would be more profitable to annex nearby systems and demand tribute from them. With more money, came more ships, more power...anyway, it's gotten pretty insane." K.K. jerked a thumb back at Copper and Booker. "These two know; they were lieutenants. I only made private before I shipped out."

"It was terrible!" Booker burst out, "I mean...just terrible. Sorry, so sorry..."

"So what's that statue have to do with it?" I asked, casting a sympathetic glance at Booker.

"It's a statue of the great General McFido, hero of the First Galactic War," Copper answered, crossing his arms. "Literally, it's just a trinket, but in the heart and minds of every Dogstar soldier it inspires the greatest amount of faith and courage conceivable. It's their rallying point."

"Rallying point?" I stopped, recalling the surge of power I felt when I touched it. "If it's so important to them, how'd it end up here?"

"When the Galactic Nations censured the Dogstar for amassing too much power, they took the Idol as punishment. My guess is they dropped it off here because they felt this planet was backwater enough that it would never be found." K.K. rolled his eyes. "Big mistake, if you ask me. They just threw you guys into the line of fire."

"Wonderful," I said, rolling my eyes. "So what can I do?"

K.K. looked back at Copper and Booker and the two of them shrugged. "This may be hard to swallow," K.K. said, turning back, "but we think it's best if you avoid all contact with your superiors at SPOOK."

_Not that avoiding my superiors has ever been a problem, _I thought to myself, but straightened my face before I could laugh. "So you think they've been penetrated?"

"We're not certain," Copper interjected, "but we can't take any risk. It's critical that we keep the Dogstar from reclaiming the Idol."

I nodded. "So, we find a place to keep it safe, and keep a lookout for anyone who might be checking in on it. Is that it? Am I free to go now? 'Cause this cot is killing my back..."

"You seem like a cool cat, Edgar," K.K. said, leaning in close to me, "but keep a close eye on everyone, okay? This really is big, man." Shrinking away, I nodded.

"You're free to go, then," Copper said, and he and Booker led me out of the station. As I left the damp cell, I thought I heard a rustling outside, but decided it was nothing.

* * *

When I got to my house, Rei and Tom were waiting outside. Both had changed clothing since last night; Tom wore a green sweater over his white fur, while Rei wore a checkered skirt with a white blouse. As they came up to me, I felt slightly flattered at the thought of Rei being so dressed up just for me.

"Finally," Tom said, shaking my hand with a strong grip, "I thought you might be in there awhile."

"Oh, no," I said nonchalantly, taking back my hand, "it was just a misunderstanding."

"It seems these Fluffytown police have a lot of those," Tom shot back with a stern look. "Anyway, what was the deal with that thing?"

"That thing? Oh, just a trinket," I said without missing a beat. "Some old antique. Copper's out looking for its true owner as we speak."

Tom nodded slowly. "Well, that's good news," he said finally, then turned back to Rei. "Meet you back at your place?"

Rei nodded and smiled, then turned to me. "We're having lunch," she said, looking down at the ground. I cast quick glances between the two of them and, despite myself, felt my spirits darken a bit.

"See you later, Edgar!" Tom shouted, waving. "Glad to see you're okay!" He walked away. Rei watched him go, leaning up on her tiptoes to make sure he was gone, and then closed the distance between us.

"Edgar..." she said softly, "that thing was the Dogstar idol, wasn't it?" With that, all the cool I'd kept with Tom melted in an instant and Rei didn't have to read my face to know I'd blown my cover.

"I'm not stupid," she said in a low voice. "I know all about the Dogstar. This means they're coming, doesn't it?"

"Rei..."

"It is hopeless, isn't it?" Her shoulders sagged, and I was tempted to reach out and hug her except for the aura in the air which suggested that I shouldn't. "I just wanted to help my friends...but there is no helping them, is there?"

"Yes, there is," I said with an edge in my voice that surprised even me. "There's always something that can be done. We just have to keep trying..." I reached out, despite the aura, and laid my hand on her shoulder. She shirked it off gently and looked away.

"I should be going," she said, her voice on the verge of breaking. "Perhaps it's best that I be going, anyway..." She ran off. I watched her go and then sat on the ground by the brook, scaring off a ladybug as I nearly trampled a patch of flowers with my rump.

_It's just an assignment, _I repeated to myself, looking down at the water. _Just some backwater town...right? _I twisted my lips into different positions, trying to find an expression that didn't look pathetic in my reflection on the water. Nothing succeeded.

_Nothing to get upset over...right?_

"There you are!" I looked behind and saw a white cat that was slightly taller than Olivia with a more mature look on her face. "Certainly you wouldn't be rude to one of Olivia's sisters?"

"R-rude?"

"Of course not, darling. We've been waiting for you." She reached out and jerked me onto my feet with a pull that looked effortless to her. "That is, me and my sisters. I'm Monique, by the way. You look like quite the charmer. I'm not surprised Olivia wanted you over for lunch."

"Lunch?" I said as Monique pulled me along. To be honest, food didn't sound so bad...

* * *

Interlude Two: The Nature of the Game

_Lord Nefarious sits in his comfortable office chair, looking out over the skyline of Capitaltown as the moon rises. _What a pitiful sight_, he thinks to himself. _The view from Dogstar Three is far superior.

_He notices a presence in the room. He spins himself around in the chair to face it. _

_"You again?" he asks, surprised. "I thought I ordered you to go crush Fluffytown!" _

_"Yes, well, about that..." The servant takes a few ginger steps forward. "I thought we'd agreed that the information was good enough for the trade. I didn't expect to actually have to get the idol..."_

_"No, of course you didn't." Lord Nefarious stands up straight, bringing his full height to bear on the cowering figure. "You never expect to actually get your hands dirty, do you? It's always a play on the sidelines for you, isn't it? Call the resistance with the information and then bring it to me, thinking I'll play the fool and fall right into your hands. That's the nature of your little game, isn't it...Rover?" _

_The blue cat tries to retrace his steps backward and instead falls, clutching the ground with his shaking arms, his eyes so wide they threaten to burst from his sockets. Lord Nefarious regards this pathetic display with a burst of laughter. _

_"You could never pass yourself off as a dog in our military screenings," Nefarious begins, "so you wanted our special cybernetic enhancements so you could make something of yourself. You sold us out to the resistance thinking you could be a hero at the same time." Nefarious crosses the desk and stands over Rover. "I suppose you forgot, somewhere along the way, that ambition is like a burning star. The brighter it burns..." Nefarious closes his fist. "The shorter it lives." _

_Rover's breathing is erratic as he scrambles away from Lord Nefarious. _

_"Oh, no, my little turncoat," Nefarious says, baring his teeth, "there's no getting away from this. You will go to Fluffytown now, and no less than absolute success will bring you what you desire. If even that." Nefarious' uncovered eye blazes with total fury. "Get out of my sight." _

_"Y-Y-yes, Lord Nefarious," Rover cries, scampering from the room. Nefarious taps his comlink._

_"Yes, my lord?"_

_"Ensure that Rover receives everything he needs for his little Fluffytown excursion."_

_"Yes, my lord."_

_"Oh, and can I order a pizza? Pepperoni and anchovy, maybe?" _


	7. Won't You Be My Neighbor?

Episode 6: Won't You Be My Neighbor?

"So then we're on a shopping trip in Capitaltown...all the nicest places...when poor Kiki has to go to the bathroom for the third time that day." Monique reached across the low table and laid her hand on Kiki's short black paw. "Really, darling, must you have had all that lemonade?" The whole room, sans Kiki, erupted in laughter that reverberated off the bamboo screen in Olivia's home. Kiki blushed and hid her paws under the table, crouching lower in her seat.

"But...but I like lemonade," Kiki murmured. "It's tasty, lemony, and it...it aids."

"Oh, it aids, all right," Tangy shot back, and more laughter erupted as Olivia, obviously having too good a time, nearly knocked her tea cup over. I began to suspect she'd put more than just tea in her cup. I glanced down at my own, checking the leaves as they swirled in my half-empty cup, to make sure it wasn't spiked. Satisfied, I laid it back on the table.

"Did you enjoy the tea, Edgar?" Monique peered across the table at me. "Tangy's an expert at it. She's studied for over fifteen years."

"Wow," I said, casting an astonished look at Tangy. "That's amazing!"

"Thanks," she said, blushing.

"Of course, Livvy here's become an expert at drinking it..." As laughter ensued, Olivia lost control and showered the room with tea. I licked some off my face, confirming that it really was more than just tea. Brushing droplets of tea off of my watch, I saw that it was after two. _Has it really been two hours already?_

"Are you leaving us, Edgar?" Monique asked, tilting her head and putting on her best sad face. "We've only just begun!"

"Well..." I felt my defenses breaking down against the indomitable power of the sad face. "I wanted to get home later on and rest up. I really have enjoyed this, though. I think I needed it."

"You did seem awfully distraught," Monique replied, breaking off the sad face. "If I had to guess, I'd say it was a combination of girl trouble and business." As she finished, I had to brace myself with my hand to avoid falling over.

"Darling, it's no surprise to me," Monique continued, unperturbed. "I saw the way you looked after Rei there. There's no keeping something secret when it wants to just burst out."

"Well...I guess I did want more of a chance to talk to her..."

"Oh, dear Edgar, we all do sometimes," Olivia piped in, pouring herself more tea. "For Rei, though, it's Tom this, Tom that. If I didn't know better, I'd swear they were joined at the hip. They do go back, though, so I suppose it makes sense."

"Don't feel too bad, Edgar," Tangy added. "Rei is a nice girl, and a wonderful friend of ours, but she is off in her own little world. Literally."

"I like Rei," Kiki said, her eyes wide. "She has nice kneecaps."

I looked outside and saw a tumbleweed rolling past, pursued quickly by Tom Nook. "Blasted runaway merchandise," he muttered to himself.

"Don't even get me started on Tom," Monique said, shaking her head. "He's always seemed mysterious to me."

"Mysterious?" I raised my eyebrow. "In what way?"

"Think about it, Edgar." She crossed her arms. "He shows up and we run into trouble with the Dogstar. Coincidence? I highly doubt it."

I fell hard on my rump. "H-how'd you--"

"Oh, we know the Dogstar all too well," Olivia said, "but that's a story for another day."

"When I first heard about the Dogstar," Kiki said, unaware that her tea cup was tilted over and was slowly losing its contents, "I thought it was a pop star that was also a dog. I was wrong." Tangy sighed and stood up to get a towel. I stood up with her, stepped back, and bowed to everyone.

"Thank you, everyone," I said, finishing the bow. "It really was wonderful."

"Oh, certainly!" Monique stood and curtsied back. "We'll have to have you again sometime. We'll be staying quite awhile, so don't be a stranger!"

"Oh, I won't." I turned to leave.

"Oh, and Edgar?" I turned back.

"Do be careful, will you? I know you never meant to be involved in any of this, but you seem quite capable. Even so, there are powerful forces at work here. Very powerful."

"I know," I replied, "but it's my job." Nodding once more to them, I left.

* * *

On the way back to my house, I was greeted by overhanging clouds increasing in size, contributing to humidity so high I felt I was going to drown in my suit. It was then that I realized Fluffytown probably had no dry-cleaners. Holding my nose, I sprinted back home, hoping my other suit would fare better.

"Oh, Edgar!" came a voice, and I halted in my tracks despite the insatiable urge to run faster. Melba ran up to me with mirth all over her face.

"H-Hi, Melba..."

"How're things with you and the dekkoid?" she asked with a huge smile on her face.

"Oh, just fine," I told her, which was the truth, from a certain point of view. Namely, mine.

Melba pursed her lips in concern. "He's not still off, is he?"

"Uhh..." My eyes darted involuntarily. "No?"

"Edgar!" Melba's frustrated scream smacked me in the face, making the humidity seem like nothing. "Dekky's a living thing, not just some toy! You really need to learn how to get along with him."

"I will," I replied quickly, holding up my hands. "I promise."

"Hmph." Melba folded her arms. "You're starting to sound as sincere as Tom."

I dropped my hands, reversing my surrender. "What does that mean?"

"What do you think it means?" Melba narrowed her eyes at me. "Did you forget that Tom is a dog? And we're going to be attacked by the Dogstar?"

_Argh!_ I looked up at the sky, rolling my head in frustration. _How does she know—wait a second. Rustling in the bushes..._

"You were out by the station earlier this morning, weren't you?"

"Station? Earlier?" Melba folded her arms and shrank back. "Well, uhh...you know, I usually pick flowers around there, and..."

I buried my face in my hand, massaging my temples. "Who else knows?" I asked in a low voice.

"Well, I only told Olivia..."

"In other words, everyone knows." I rolled my eyes. "Wonderful."

"It's okay, Edgar," Melba said in an overly cheery voice, "all we have to do is ban Tom from the town and everything will be okay, right?"

If my head could have sunk any lower, I would be peering into the Earth's core. "No, Melba," I said, trying to keep disappointment out of my voice, "It's not even remotely that simple." Turning away, I started sprinting toward town hall.

"Where are you going?" Melba shouted after me.

"To fix this!" I shouted back.

"But you stink!" she shouted.

"So does all this!" She had no reply for that.

* * *

"Attention, everyone!" Pelly's voice squawked through the megaphone. "There's an important announcement from the mayor!" From out the windows of town hall, I could hear her voice echoing in the wind and slowly dying out. "Is that all right?" Pelly asked, turning back to me.

"Perfect," I replied, flashing her a thumbs-up. "Now, then," I turned to Tortimer, the mayor of Fluffytown, and found his face buried in his shell. "Oh, for the love of...wake up, will you!"

"Huh? Hoorf?" A wrinkled face popped up out of the shell with bifocals half off. "Sorry about that, kiddo." Tortimer adjusted his glasses. "Now you want me to read this here thing?"

"Pretty much," I said. "I'd read it myself, but you're the mayor. People have known you longer, so they might trust you more than I do."

"Fair enough, sprout." Tortimer cleared his throat and grabbed the megaphone. "Attention, citizens of Farfenugen!"

"That's Fluffytown!" I shouted from as I struggled to get up from the floor. "Don't you know your own town?"

"My mistake!" he shouted through the megaphone, causing interference that knocked me over again. For a brief moment, I recalled the substitute teacher in school that scrawled her name on the chalkboard with her nails. "Just...just keep going," I said, flashing a weak thumbs-up to him.

"Now then, it's come to my attention that...let's see...Tammy, is that it? Has been, uhh...accused of eating dog biscuits..."

"Just go back to sleep," I hissed, yanking the megaphone from him. "Am I on?" I asked Pelly. She nodded.

"People of Fluffytown, this is Edgar, your friendly neighborhood paranormal investigator from SPOOK International. Which I guess isn't really friendly, or in the neighborhood...but I digress. My mission here was to determine what phenomenon was altering the quality of life in this town. Yesterday, I located the source of trace chemicals in the water supply of the town that had the capability of inducing violent rage." I cleared my throat. "Many of you fell victim to this and did things you regret. Fortunately, the threat to the water supply has ceased. Unfortunately, we have uncovered a new threat."

The door to town hall opened and K.K. Slider came through, making a slashing throat motion with his finger. I shook my head at him and kept going.

"What was supposed to have been a confidential conversation between myself and the town police force, concerning the nature of this threat, was overheard by one of you. Naturally, like any piece of news, it traveled to different sources. Therefore, I am sure you are all aware that there is a possible threat to our well-being by the Dogstar Empire from the Sirius cluster."

Before I'd finished, K.K. wore a stern expression. As I finished, his features had softened a little, but his arms were still folded.

"This threat stems from the object that I recovered. It is a statue of one of the Dogstar's great generals. They want it back; however, for security reasons, we cannot give it to them. We are currently working out a plan to shield us from harm by the Dogstar without surrendering their idol to them."

"Good luck with that," K.K. muttered sardonically.

"What this threat does not stem from is our new neighbor, Tom. Ever since his arrival, he has been subject to silent accusation and veiled threats based on fear and ignorance. The purpose of this message is to officially exonerate Tom from these accusations. All I have seen from Tom since his arrival is a sense of caring for those close to him and a desire to fit in. There is nothing in his behavior to suggest to me that he is a Dogstar agent."

"Uhh, Edgar..." K.K. broke in, whispering, "Do you actually know he's not a Dogstar?"

"Just a feeling," I shot back while my hand cupped the megaphone. Uncupping it, I continued: "It is natural for all of you to fear the Dogstar. They are an empire based on accumulating power and using it for their own ends. Nevertheless, I ask you to please keep from projecting this fear onto Tom. He may be of the same species as the Dogstar, but he is our neighbor. He should be our friend. Please make him our friend." Silence cut through the heavy air for a moment. "That is all." I switched off the megaphone and set it down.

"That was sweet, Edgar," Pelly said, plucking at one of her feathers.

"Truly the best epic poem I've ever heard," Tortimer said before retreating back into his shell.

"Too bad it's not all square," K.K. interjected. "You realize we haven't checked him out one bit. He could be in with them, man."

I nodded somberly. "But this way, we can get his skinny on the lowdown. Check what I'm saying, dog?"

K.K. chuckled as he walked out the door in front of me. "You've been hanging out with me too much." He rose from his spot against the wall and bowed his head. "I guess this was the right play, though. Information wants to be free, man. Just like my music." He saluted me with his paw. "Stay cool, Edgar."

"Likewise." He departed, and I started back for home, the stink level of my suit reaching new highs. On the way back, I saw Rei, her auburn hair matted to her face by the humidity.

"Don't get too close," I cautioned her, "The suit needs to be washed."

"Oh," she said blankly, then took a few ginger steps toward me and quickly turned away. "Oh," she said, more knowingly this time.

"I think it needs to be wash-"

"Yeah," Rei said quickly. "You know the Ables can do that, right?"

"Really?"

"Yep." Rei nodded her head vigorously.

"Yep," I echoed, at a loss for anything more profound. "Well, I'd better get going."

"Okay, later!" Rei said. As I walked past her, I heard another word come out of her mouth, a faint whisper against the growing wind.

"Wait." I turned.

"I wanted to let you know..." She bit her lip. "Tom really appreciated the support. I'm sure his family would, too."

"I thought he would," I replied, cracking a weak smile. With a few short steps, she crossed the gulf between us and threw her arms around me.

"And so did I," she whispered against my chest. Having absolutely no clue what to do, I laid a shaking hand on her waist and held it there for a few moments longer. She broke off the embrace and, smiling widely at me, laid one finger on my nose.

"You'd better have a good plan, Mr. Investigator!" Still grinning, she skipped off. My nose still buzzed with energy from where she touched it.

"Wait..." I breathed aloud. "Did she say 'family?'"

I was once told that there are two kinds of weird in this world. The bad kind, the kind most people call karma, is your everyday unsettling event, like a flat tire or a rabid net-swinging bear. The good kind is when things just start going your way. As I sat in the middle of Fluffytown, blushing like a doofus, I found myself appreciating the good kind of weird.


	8. Love Me Forever

Episode 7: Love Me Forever

"Rei...could I talk to you a moment?" I took a deep breath before continuing. "I know this sounds weird, since I've known you for a few days, but...well...I feel connected to you somehow. I don't know how you feel. Of course, I'd be happy if you felt the same way. I guess I just wanted to say..." I bit my lip, forcing me to blurt out the next words. "I think I kinda like you."

Silence hung in the air for a moment.

"Well?" I said hopefully.

"Dekkoid!"

"Really!" I clapped my hands together. "You mean it?"

"D-dekkoid." The gyroid shuffled back a step. Despite its lack of feet, I didn't question the move.

"Great," I replied, letting out a heavy sigh just to hear myself do it. "If Rei rejects me, I always have a future with a gyroid. Wonderful." The six a.m. bell sounded and Pelly's chipper voice came over the megaphone to wish everyone a good morning. Sprawled out over my desk was a series of Dogstar technical readouts and military deployments, courtesy of K.K. Slider, the last person on Earth I ever thought would possess such things. Laid out to the side of all this was a crude drawing labeled "Defense of Fluffytown, version beta 2." It was mostly stick figures. I was quite proud of it.

"So you think it works, huh?" I asked, and got no response. "It's kind of corny, but I like it. I especially like the part where I go-"

"...I think I kinda like you," I heard echoed behind me.

"Whaaaa?" I turned and saw Bluebear leaning on the desk, her elbows crushing my drawing and her eyes carrying a wistful look. "When did you come in?"

"Just a few minutes ago," Bluebear said, blinking.

"You didn't, uhh, happen to hear anything, did you?"

"No," Bluebear said, crossing over to move closer to me, "nothing but the pounding of my own heart when I think about you, that is."

"Oh, good." I said. "Wait...what?"

"Oh, Edgar," Bluebear said in a wispy, entranced voice, "stay with me forever, and love me forever and ever, until the sky rains black with comets and the ocean, well...does what oceans do." She finished and wrapped her arms around me. Doing what any male would do after having a strikingly beautiful, albeit ursine, female pine for me in such a way, I pushed her away and ran out the door. Stopping outside for a moment, I opened the door and looked at the befuddled Bluebear.

"Please don't take anything while I'm gone," I said, and ran away for a considerable distance until I found an inviting oak tree. I laid against it, panting, and suddenly felt like a jerk. Maybe she was just being nice. Really, really nice.

"There you are!" shouted a female voice, and I turned to my right just in time to find myself buried in a coat of white fur, vibrating in tune with purring.

"H-hi, Olivia..." I stammered as I felt the oxygen slowly leaving my brain. _Wow, everyone's "really nice" today..._

"Darling," Olivia said, gazing up at me, "you really shouldn't hide from me like that. You don't know what it does to my delicate psyche when I can't find my Fluffykins."

"Sorry, Olivia, I-Fluffykins?" My eyes darted around for any possible distraction.

"Why, of course," she cooed back, running her paw across my chin. "My Fluffykins is the best. He even found us a nice oak tree under which to be alone."

"That's great!" I squeaked. "Unfortunately, I seem to have some pressing business with, uhh...err...that rock over there. Bye!"

"I know where you live!" I heard Olivia shout as I ran off, the venom in her voice well-deserved for my sleep-deprived blunder. _That rock over there. Smooth one, Edgar._ I kept running until Nook's store came into view, dashing toward it and lunging through the automatic doors as if they were an airlock on an intergalactic cruiser. Tucking and rolling, I came up on my knees right in front of the proprietor, who at this moment had his head cocked to one side and was staring at me with wide eyes. Wide, unlonging eyes.

"Might I be able to help you with anything?" Tom Nook said slowly.

"Oh, nothing much," I said nervously, "just asylum."

Nook blinked a few times. "Asylum, you say." He steepled his fingers, snickering under his breath. "Well, if it's asylum you need, then it'll have to come with a price, you see? Perhaps, say--"

"Did I say asylum?" I said, smiling weakly. "I meant 'wander around looking like I'm buying something.' Yeah...that. Because, you see, I'm really interested in, uhh..." I grabbed the nearest item. "Axes. Yeah, axes."

"You know," Nook said, narrowing his eyes at me, "I offer fee-based counseling, too, if you ever need to talk."

"Did I say axes?" I threw down the axe, narrowly missing my own foot. "I meant, uhh..." I grabbed for another object. "Timing...things?"

"Curses!" Nook muttered. "Well, I suppose you can look all you want. For free. Just don't steal anything, of course."

"You have no idea how thankful I am," I said, bowing fervently.

"And don't ask me for complimentary smiles either," added Nook.

Under the protective umbrella of Nook's grace, something I hadn't yet realized he possessed, I paced back and forth, trying to find the perfect words for Rei, or at least an opportunity to use the imperfect words. Every now and then, I peeked out the window and saw one of the town's girls passing by, but there was no sign of the one I wanted to see. It was a little past three when I checked outside and saw Olivia passing by with her sisters. As I hastily drew back the curtain, Monique looked in my direction.

I don't remember much after that, except that Tom Nook later swore that a meteor had hit the place and was trying to get insurance money out of it any way possible. I found myself in the clearing outside Nook's with the four cats towering over me.

"We've got you now!" Monique squealed with a devilish grin on her face, one that evaporated when she realized the implications of what she'd just said.

"'We?'" Olivia said, placing her paws on her hips. "What do you mean 'We'?"

"Yeah, sis," Tangy said, bringing out her claws, "I thought you of all people would want him for yourself."

"Do you mean 'we' as in 'wee?'" Kiki had a blank look on her face. "'Cause...'cause I have to wee."

"Just go home, Kiki." Monique rolled her eyes.

"Or do you mean 'we' as in 'Wii?' B-because I like Wii too. It has a remote and it's shiny and-hey!" Kiki stopped and contorted her face in thought. "I have a sudden, unexplained crush on Edgar too! Don't tell me what to do!" She, too, brought out her claws. "Wiiii!" she screamed as she jumped at Monique. I spare the details; only those with strong stomachs can fully appreciate the magnitude of a full-blown catfight. At one point, as a huge tuft black fur hit me in the head, I realized that I could exploit this opportunity to go and find Rei. Fortunately, I found her only a short distance away, standing close to Tom's house.

"Hi, Edgar!" she said as she waved at me and smiled.

"Rei!" I fell to the ground at her feet, panting heavily.

"Is something wrong?" she said with a hint of amusement in her voice.

Unfortunately, there was. I felt the iron grip of the claws closing in on my feet just as I looked up to see that brief glimpse of Rei's smile.

"I have something important to tell you!" I said as they dragged me away from Rei. As her form began to shrink on the horizon, I could make out a confused, yet faintly amused, expression on her face.

That was the last I saw of her that day. As I sat cross-legged on the ground, watching the sun go down and the stars fill the night sky, the catfight went on, without any signs of interruption or even respect for the participants' needs to eat, sleep, or 'wee.' Even worse, Bluebear joined in sometime between eight and nine, and I think I saw my favorite house plant tucked into her pocket.

As abruptly as the whole thing started, it all ended at the ringing of the bells from town hall. Everyone craned their necks as the bells rang twelve times. As the final bell struck, I let out a sigh. Olivia, Kiki, Monique and Bluebear looked around at each other and then at me.

"Wait..." Olivia said, "we were fighting over _him_!" She turned up her chin and left. The others followed suit, Kiki muttering something about being hungry. Monique gave me an oddly sympathetic look before she followed her sisters.

On my way back to the house, I saw Rei unlocking the door to her own house to go back inside. "Hey!" she said as she opened her door.

"Hey," I managed.

"Did you still want to talk about something?"

I smiled and shook my head. "No, it can wait another day."

"If you say so..." Rei cocked her head at me, then shrugged and went inside. I trudged along to my own house and entered to the company of my gyroid.

"Dekkoid!" it screamed at me.

"Oh, just go to sleep," I wailed at it.

"Dekk...oid?"

"Oh, and another piece of advice," I said as I flicked off the light, "don't waste your time with love. It's foolish and all it does is lead to violence and disappointment."

"Dekk...oid..." As the lights went off, I noticed it had a downtrodden look on its freaky gyroid face. It repeated its lamenting...well, whatever sound it makes, as I stared at the ceiling, trying to lull myself to sleep.

_Knock knock._

"Huh?" I sat up in bed and slipped my shoes back on. "Who's there?" As I pushed the door open, I rubbed my eyes in shock.

"Hi!" Rei said with a tentative smile on her face. "I hope I'm not disturbing you."

"Disturbing me? Of course not."

"Okay!" She wrung her hands together. "It's just that, well, I was busy most of the day, so I didn't get to hear what was important that you had to say, and, well..." She looked away for a moment. "I have something I want to show you."

"Show me?" I said as Rei yanked my hand and dragged me into the early morning air.

"Come on!" she said, giggling. "It'll be fun!" As she pulled me through the dormant streets of Fluffytown, all I could think about was that her hand was touching mine. We reached the edge of the giant pond at the north end of town, and she released my hand. I felt a brief twinge of disappointment which flew away entirely when I caught the reflection of the moonlight over the water.

"I come here often when it's like this," Rei explained, removing her loafers. "The beauty of it helps ease my mind."

"It's beautiful..." I whispered.

"Isn't it?" Removing her socks and tucking them into her loafers, Rei slid her feet into the water and sat down on the bank. I settled down by her and crossed my legs at the water's edge. "Sorry about earlier," she said, staring up at the sky. "I was helping Tom write a letter to someone important to him."

"Who's that?"

"His wife." Rei smiled. "Didn't you know Tom had a family?"

"Not until recently, no." I cracked a smile thinking about it.

"I hope we were able to make the message cryptic enough," Rei said, swinging her legs and creating ripples on the water's surface. "If the Dogstar intercepted it, things could get really bad..."

"I take it the two of you have some kind of history with the Dogstar." She hugged herself with her arms as I said that, but nodded slowly anyway.

"That's what I wanted to tell you about," she said slowly. "Tom would have, too, but he couldn't stay up any longer. Anyway..." She let out a heavy sigh. "My father brought me along to Mars on a Galactic Nations diplomatic mission. There was no babysitter, but I was able to play outside while he was conducting his business. I had a lot of fun playing with other children, but then...there was a problem."

"Problem?"

"It's called Martian syndrome. Apparently, some of the dust on Mars interferes with respiratory systems of certain species. I had so much fun I forgot all about it, and too much of it got in through the equipment I had. I had to go to the hospital when I started coughing really badly, and the doctors gave me a five percent chance of survival. That's where the Dogstar came in."

At a loss for words, I simply looked at her, mouth wide open. Hard to think that could ever happen to someone in my line of work.

"The Dogstar offered the best cybernetic enhancements in the galaxy at the time. Most of it was military-based, but there were a lot of medical uses as well. My father and I consented to the operation, even knowing the consequence. They replaced my lungs with perfectly-functioning mechanical clones."

"Wow," I said, despite the situation. "But what was the cost?"

"I had to join the Dogstar military." She buried her face in her arms. "They wanted me to be a scout, since my lungs enabled me to be in abnormal conditions longer. I had to find important installations for them, so that if there was resistance when they moved in, they could..." Her voice broke and I instantly shuffled closer to her. She looked over and smiled a little.

"When did you meet Tom?" I asked.

"About two months in," she replied. "He saw what I was going through, and shared my feelings about it. He helped me escape them without detection from anyone. Including my father, who's probably still got my face on Martian milk cartons." She chuckled.

"Wow," I repeated. "I'm definitely thanking Tom next time I see him." I felt something against my shoulder, thought about swatting it away with my hand, and was very glad I didn't when I realized it was Rei's head.

"That would be nice," she murmured. The water churned lightly in tune to the chirping of the crickets. I thought about what I would say next as I listened to it.

"It's pretty late," I finally said.

_Good one._

"Yeah," Rei said back, slowly getting up. As she was putting her shoes back on, her eyes suddenly lit up. "Oh, didn't you have something important to tell me?"

"Oh, yeah! Uhh..." A wicked smile came to my face. "It's not that important after all. It can wait."

"If you say so," Rei said flatly, her eyebrow arching. "Thanks for everything!" She started to lean forward.

"Oh, it's my-"

She kissed me on the cheek.

"Wow. I mean, uhh, pleasure."

"Good night, Edgar!" With a devious smile of her own, she departed. I think I eventually found my way back home, sometime between the fifty-seventh and fifty-eighth times I said "wow." Flipping the light on, I saw the house plant returned to its proper position and the sketch of the defense of Fluffytown still on the desk.

_The defense of Fluffytown. _A lump grew in my throat as I thought about what my little stick figures represented for the future of everyone here, all the people I had come to care about. Even the future of the whole planet was a more distant thought.

"Hey, Dekky," I said, at which the gyroid's face lit up, "You seen my magic markers?"

"Dek-koid!" it exclaimed, and cocked its head in the direction of my bed. I reached under and found them.

"Thanks!" I said, flashing it a thumbs-up. "Time to get working. Oh, and forget what I said about love..."


	9. Fluffytown Showdown

Episode 8: Fluffytown Showdown

_Knock. Knock._

"Huh?" I awoke with a start to what sounded like a battering ram against my door.

_Are the Dogstar already here?_ I thought to myself as I ducked low and crawled to the door. Inching up ever so slightly so that I could look through the peephole, I saw the source of the noise and froze.

_Nope. Worse than the Dogstar. _

"I know you're in there, Edgar!" bellowed Big Eddie. "Let me in now and I might not tear up your next performance evaluation!" Knowing he would splinter the door open at its hinges if I failed to comply, I unlocked the door, turned the knob, and immediately jumped back about three feet. My boss stood at the doorway, standing nearly as tall and as wide as the frame, a stern look on his face.

"Where is it?" he growled.

"Why?" I said, then started holding my breath again.

"Because I asked you." Big Eddie ducked his head and entered the room. A stray splinter of wood tore his SPOOK uniform, but he regarded the annoyance as if a fly had landed on him, shrugging it off and coming further into the room. "Do you think playing games with me is fun, Edgar? Do you even understand what any of this is about?"

"I...I do, sir." I gestured him to the table in the corner, even though I doubted he could sit in either of the two accompanying chairs without breaking them. He tried anyway. "I was told not to divulge the location of the idol to anyone at SPOOK until I knew what they planned to do with it."

Nodding sternly, Big Eddie pantomimed writing on a piece of paper. "Initiative," he said to himself. "Courage. And absolute stupidity." He glared over at me. "Did it occur to you that your superiors might be able to handle this situation better than you can?" He stabbed a finger out the window. "There is a fleet of Dogstar ships hidden by the lunar eclipse that is taking place right now. At one word, they could decimate everyone on this planet before the Galactic Nations could raise a finger. Tell me, Edgar, do you think their punishment will matter to us if we're all dead?" I backed away slightly as his forehead grew red. "And tell me this, Edgar...does the thought of handing them the idol seem so bad now?"

_Wow,_ I thought to myself. _For a giant moose, he sure knows how to make someone feel small. _"The thought had occurred to me..."

"Then why didn't you follow it?" Big Eddie stood up, knocking over my chair.

"Because," I said, standing up straight and managing to reach up to his neck in height, "someone has to stand up to the Dogstar. We can delay their invasion of this planet by handing them the idol, but then they'll be just as unstoppable when they return. Which they will."

"And how do you propose to stop the Dogstar?" Big Eddie roared, picking up my sketch from the desk. "With a bunch of stick figures?" He crumpled up the sketch and threw it against the wall.

"No," I said, smiling despite myself. "You'll see."

"I'll see?" Big Eddie slouched forward. "I'll see?"

The phone rang. I picked it up.

"Yo, Edgar." It was K.K. Slider. "We got a hot tip at the station. A bunch of unrulies just jacked the next train headed this way."

"Wonderful."

"Yeah, my thoughts exactly. Get ready, man, this is it."

"Right." I replaced the receiver and looked over at my boss. "They're coming. So the answer is yes. You will see."

* * *

"Is it true?" Rei shouted, her voice breaking as she ran up to greet me.

"Yes," I replied shortly. "You'd better hide." I looked over to Tom, whose ears were raised in alert. "Both of you."

Tom nodded. "What are you going to do, Edgar?"

"I'm going to show everyone the real might of the Dogstar Empire." I flashed a smile, which made both of them look even more perturbed.

"Well, I hope it works..." Tom chuckled nervously. "By the way, nice to meet you, Mr..."

"Annoyed," Big Eddie replied tersely.

"Gotcha." Tom's smile faded. "Let's get somewhere safe," he muttered to Rei, and took off running.

"Good luck, Edgar!" Rei said as she followed him.

"Who's she?" Big Eddie inquired.

"Oh, just a girl I like," I replied, watching her go with a pit forming in my stomach.

"Oh." Big Eddie chuckled. "I feel sorry for her."

Ignoring the comment, I instead joined K.K. and Copper at the train platform. The residents of Fluffytown, having heard the news, turned out to form a line behind us. Even Tortimer was out, but he seemed to be having trouble staying awake. I held up a hand to urge them back, but they stayed within view of the platform as the train slowly came in. The brakes screeched and sparks flew from the undercarriage as the cars passed by, flashing by too quickly to notice at first, but then tapering off and slowly coming to a halt.

"We've got some backup if you need it," K.K. muttered. "Booker's over by the post office. He may not seem like it, but he's a good shot with the stun blaster."

Nodding, I replied, "Hopefully it won't come to that." The train was still in the process of stopping, a routine procedure that seemed to last an eternity. _The train is mocking me. Stupid train..._

Just as I completed my thought, steam issued from the train with a hiss and it came to a complete stop.

"Stay cool, man." That was K.K.

As the doors opened, I took two steps forward. Dogstar soldiers, their ears sticking out through round-top helmets, shuffled down the platform, guns raised. They formed a circle around the four of us, isolating us from the rest of the townspeople. The next wave fell into line with the last.

"Second wave!" came a voice from inside the train. "Start searching the houses!"

"You locked your door, right?" Big Eddie muttered. I was about to reply, but the leader stepped out and stood on the platform over me. I looked at him and gasped.

"You!" I said, pointing an exasperated finger.

"Yes, me!" Rover said, grinning. "Me want you to give idol to us now. Save townspeople trouble. Is that too slow for you?"

"You tell me," K.K. said, stepping forward with me. "Selling out both sides isn't too smart, man. You sure you wanna scramble with Neffy like that?"

Rover bristled. "Lord Nefarious' affairs are none of your concern! And do NOT call him--"

"Neffy?" I said, trying not to chuckle. "That's pretty cute. Is he your leader?"

Rover growled.

"Neffy, Neffy, Neffy!" I danced around in my place. "Neffy Neffy boo boo!"

"Listen, punk!" Rover drew out his stun blaster, a silver ray gun with spirals running around the shaft, and aimed it at me. "One more word out of you and the next thing you'll remember will be a Dogstar cell. After that, you'll remember how to count to three again. Capisce?"

I shrugged in reply.

"I'm not talking to you, anyway." Rover cocked his head at Big Eddie. "He's your superior. He's the one I talk to."

I shrugged in reply.

"All right, then," Rover said, his tone calmer as he faced Big Eddie with the blaster, "why don't you tell me where the idol is." Holding my breath, I gazed over at Big Eddie, awaiting his reply.

"I dunno," he said, shrugging. "Ask him, he's the one who found it."

_Yes!_ I felt like letting out a huge sigh of relief. Rover's eyes narrowed; it was the first time I'd ever seen them do that. "Very well, Edgar," Rover said slowly, leveling the gun on me again, "why don't you tell me where it is?"

"Why?" I replied. "So you can invade our planet twenty years from now instead of right now?" Rover looked down at the gun, as if it were malfunctioned, and then back at me. "Oh, I'm sure the gun's working just fine," I continued, "I'm the one that's malfunctioned, I suppose, because I'm not moving."

Rover's eyes bulged red as he suppressed a growl. "You...little...urgh! Fine!" Rover took one step toward me and one finger hovered over a switch on his blaster. He was close enough to me that I could see the words on the blaster: "Stun" and "Kill." "See if you're so brave after this!"

Rover switched the weapon to "Kill"and brought it up to my temple. For a brief moment, I felt a twinge of fear. As if I were riding a roller coaster, I anticipated the time when I would be able to get off, and let go of my fear.

"Is that it?" I said, cracking another smile.

"Edgar!" Big Eddie's shout came from behind me, but I didn't dare to look over to him. "Enough of this! Just give it to him!" His nerves were beginning to get the best of him.

"I don't know, sir," I replied nonchalantly, "somehow I doubt this is the Dogstar Empire you negotiated with." I winked. "Maybe there was some kind of mistake?"

Rover paused, his grip on the weapon faltering as he looked over to Big Eddie.

"It's your move, boss," I said. Whatever happened next, I wished for a brief second that I could see Rei again. Knowing she was safe made me feel a lot better, though. I moved her from my mind as Big Eddie snorted where he stood, ruminating over what I'd said. _Come on, boss...come on, boss..._

"Fine," Big Eddie said. "Do whatever you want to him. He's obviously an idiot."

_Oh, thanks. _

"Huh?" Rover dropped his weapon for a split second. A split second later, he was lying on the ground three feet away. He scrambled for his blaster, only to see it smashed beneath Big Eddie's hoof, and looked up at my boss with a pale face.

"What can I say?" Big Eddie shrugged. "Even idiots can convince me sometimes." As he finished this thought, a stun bolt struck him in the back. Flinching slightly, he spun and knocked the source of the blast into the air with his fist. I looked up to see stun bolts lancing through the air from above, knocking out Dogstar soldiers as they ran from the houses to fire back. _Good ol' Booker. _K.K. and Copper had drawn their own stun blasters and joined the fray. Watching the battle unfold, I slowly realizing that I was right in the middle of it with no weapon to speak of. I'm not certain which penetrated first: the silent command to run and hide or the stun bolt that hit me in the back and sent me to the ground, gasping for air as my entire body tingled.

I tried my legs, hoping to rise up. Nothing. Next came my arms. Nothing. All I could do was look up with a contorted face as the battle raged on, and I couldn't even do that very well. I saw Big Eddie unearth a tree and swing it at three Dogstar soldiers. As he completed his swing, another stun bolt struck him and he dropped the tree trunk, hitting himself in the head and knocking him down with a thud that I barely felt in my condition. After that, everything was a hallucination. I started dreaming that cats with swords had appeared and were turning the battle around. Then, this howl pierced the sky and my ears hurt. After that, I thought I saw Rei emerge, and wondered what she was doing there. I felt pathetic being sprawled out on the ground while she was in danger, so I tried to move my arms again, but they faltered and black consumed my vision.

* * *

When I came to, the battle for Fluffytown was over.

My vision was blurry, but it slowly recovered as I rose to my knees. From what I could see, nothing was on fire, so I took that as encouragement.

"Yo, Edgar!" K.K. came up and helped me to my feet. "Mr. Nerves of Steel. Man, that was tight!"

"Thanks," I stammered, trying not to vomit.

"Should I give you the good news or bad news first?" Feeling my stomach freeze, I managed to sputter, "good news."

"Well, you can see the good news all around you," K.K. said, loosening his grip as I found I could stand on my own. "The Dogstar are out of Fluffytown, pretty much everyone is safe, and the idol was still in your house. Actually, there's a weird thing about that...there was a soldier unconscious outside of your house, and no one claimed to have taken him down..."

"Bad news?"

"Hoo boy..." K.K. turned away and the pit in my stomach widened. "Rei's gone, man."

"What?" I felt the gasp in my throat long before it came out.

"She told 'em she was a fugitive. They took her and ran with the train. Said it would be worth it if—hey, wait!" I ignored his shout, tearing away toward the train station. I faltered halfway there and K.K. caught up to me.

"Hold up, Edgar." K.K. put his arm on my slouching shoulder. "There's nothing we can do yet. The next train won't arrive until tomorrow. Big Eddie's still out. Just take it easy for now. We'll figure all this out later."

"Sure," I said, not even looking at him.

"Whatever Rei had in mind, we just have to keep cool. It may not feel like it," he finished, walking away, "but we totally won today."

"Yeah," I said, allowing myself to curl my lips upward just a little. All around me, the people of Fluffytown resumed work. While they shuffled around me, I kept my gaze to the north, where the train station was.

_I'm coming, Rei. _


	10. The Sacred Order of the Whisker

Episode 9: The Sacred Order of the Whisker

There are many legends about shooting stars. Commanders of ancient battles would look to the sky before a battle in hopes of seeing one. They hoped the appearance of a shooting star would prophesy victory for their men. I always wondered how it worked out if both generals saw the same star.

As the star crossed the sky above me with a flash, tailing off toward the horizon, I clasped my hands in prayer; according to the SPOOK archives, they like when you do that. Yet, I wondered if the omen it carried was for us or for the Dogstar.

There was another flash, this time from the ground. I turned, surprised, and saw the echoes of a flashbulb as it died out.

"Perfect!" Tom Nook said, lowering the camera. "Great expression and a perfect upward angle. The lighting leaves something to be desired, but we can work with that, hm?"

"What are you doing?" I asked, brushing grass off my rump as I stood up. "And who's the walrus?"

"Wendell, sir," he answered, bowing his head. "It's very hungry to meet you. I mean-it's very nice to meet fish. I mean-"

"That's enough, Wendell." Tom Nook cut him off. "He's a starving artist, you see. Quite literally so, yes? Very talented, though. I've commissioned him to make statues, you see. Of the heroes of Fluffytown."

"Heroes...?"

"Why, yes!" Nook nodded several times. "Those who fought valiantly to expel the Dogstar from our quaint little town. You performed quite admirably, Edgar, so I thought you should be included. Even though all you really did was get shot in the back." Nook's smile faded. "Minor details, hm?"

"Oh, thanks." I rolled my eyes. "Don't you think you should wait, though? I mean, they are coming back, you know. They're not going to rest while the idol is out of their hands."

"True, true." Nook scratched his chin. "Would you settle for miniature busts? They're cheaper and convey the message just as well. Plus, they're collectible! Gotta catch 'em all!"

"Sure, go do that if you want," I said, turning away. I could hear Nook haggling with Wendell over price as I left.

"I still want red snapper," Wendell said, "and make it snappy!"

_Poor fish,_ I thought to myself. The smell of incense wafted across the path in front of me and entered my nose. It smelled like a cross between cinnamon and tuna. Fighting back the urge to vomit, I followed the smell in the direction of Olivia's house. There was a sword in the ground outside, something I didn't remember being there. Olivia and Tangy were kneeling outside, their skirts hanging just over their knees. I wondered silently if they'd been praying to the star as well.

"Are you guys--" I started to say.

"Fine!" Olivia sprang to her feet. "Just fine. Totally dandy. Nothing to see here."

"Then why are you acting funny? Where are Monique and Kiki?"

"Uhhh...around?" Tangy offered.

"They went to get tea leaves..." Olivia said, stabbing the ground with her foot, "for tea. Yeah, for tea."

"I thought you were the master of tea," I said, looking at Tangy, who quickly looked away.

"I was," Tangy said, "but then I...uhh...died."

"What?"

"Did I say died? I meant...dyed. My hair. Blue."

"Okay..." I felt a vein bulging out. "Then what's that sword doing in the ground?"

"Uhh...decoration?"

"Look," I began, feeling my shoulders slouch, "I may have walked unarmed into a battle earlier today, but I'm not stupid. What's going on?"

Olivia and Tangy swapped nervous looks and then faced me. "Would you believe that we're part of an ancient order of feline samurai?"

"Feline samurai?" I felt myself blink. "That's it?"

It was their turn to blink. "What do you mean that's it?"

"Well, of course I'll believe that. After what I've gone through, I'll believe anything." I took a ginger step toward them and they tensed up.

"Sorry," Olivia said, blushing, "but we cats tend to guard our own. Especially our wounded."

"Wounded?"

"Monique was hurt badly in the battle. Apparently one of the guns was set to kill for your boss, and..."

"Is she inside?"

Olivia nodded. "Kiki's tending to her. Believe it or not, she's actually pretty good at that."

"May I...?"

Olivia bit her lip and then nodded again. "Be quiet, though."

They led me into the house, which smelled strongly of the cinnamon and tuna incense I'd been subjected to earlier. A foldout bed accommodated Monique, who tilted her head slowly toward me as I entered. Several rough-looking bandages spanned her chest, and I looked away when I saw the red streaks dotting them.

"What?" she asked softly. "Never seen blood before?"

"N-no, just..."

"It's not as bad as it looks," Kiki piped in from the corner, where she was preparing a wet cloth. "If Rei hadn't stopped everything, though..."

No one said anything to that.

"I hope I can get her back," I said.

"Well..." Monique sat up slightly. "If she's already on one of their ships, then that's going to be a little difficult. From the way your boss was acting, though, and the pressure the Dogstar placed on him, I'd say they're probably working from within SPOOK. You need to get back there as soon as possible, Edgar."

"He does?" Olivia's face scrunched up. "But he can't fight! He'll get killed if he goes back there."

"Not if he takes my sword." Monique's lips curled into a sage smile.

"But...but it's a--"

"Yes, it's a Whisker sword." Monique nodded slowly. "I know, I know, no human has ever touched a sword belonging to one of our order. Don't you think circumstances allow us to bend that, though?" At this point, Monique looked over at me and her expression soured, as if she saw a giant ketchup stain on my face. "Oh, yes. Since you didn't seem too perturbed by my condition, I'd assumed you knew all about the Whisker. I'm guessing you don't, though?"

My only reply was to exhale in relief.

"I thought so." Monique started to chuckle, then winced. "The Whisker are an ancient order of feline samurai founded by the great Master Kabuki many centuries ago. They started as covert guard for regional prefects, which turned out to be quite ingenious and very effective. Who would expect a simple house pet to thwart an elaborate assassination plot?"

"That is clever," I conceded.

"Master Kabuki passed on his skills to his offspring, and so they've gone through the ages, but always to one who takes the name of Master Kabuki. I think we're on the ninth one now."

"Tenth," Tangy corrected from her position against the wall, arms folded.

"Oh, sorry. Anyway, the basic tenets of the Whisker dogma are this: one, that a problem is always best solved now than later, and two, that love is always the best reason to fight." I felt a chill run down my spine as I considered these statements.

"It sounds like Big Eddie was concerned with sparing the planet now and hedging his bets on being able to handle a Dogstar invasion later. I'd ask him, but I heard he's in worse condition than I am." We shared a nervous chuckle. "The problem with sacrificing the future for the present, though, is that people you don't even know or love yet will have to pay your debt." Monique narrowed her eyes at me. "Would you have children if you knew they'd grow up and become generals? And their children would be on the front lines against a Dogstar?"

My stomach contorted as I pondered that.

"Doesn't sound so great, hrm?" Monique returned to her reclining position. "Whether history chooses to acknowledge it or not, the greatest heroes of this war we're fighting now are you and Rei. I just wish I could tell the two of you that your roles were over, but I think they've just begun."

"You'll have to forgive my sister," Olivia whispered in my ear. "She gets long-winded."

"I heard that," Monique snapped. "Fine...if you want me to wrap it up, here it is: go take the sword, save your girl, and be a hero." Monique reached out and clasped my hand. "You can do it."

"What about the train?" I asked.

"Oh, it's taken care of." Monique winked at me. "Now, if you'll all excuse me, I smell tea..."

* * *

"I still don't understand how this is taken care of," I said as I stood on the station platform, gravel crunching beneath my feet as I paced back and forth, trying to get used to the sheathed sword clanking around on my belt. 

"Just wait," Tangy muttered, standing perfectly still. Olivia, standing several feet away, started giggling.

"You're asking a paranormal investigator to have faith in something?" Olivia spurted through her laughter. "Oh, this is too good!"

"Livvy-" Tangy began, but Olivia brushed her aside and marched up to me.

"You want the logical explanation?" she said, crossing her arms. "The logical explanation is that we blew our vacation money on a bribe to get the train here tonight."

"Oh," I said, nodding slowly. "Well, that's nice of you."

"Don't even start," Olivia shot back, fuming. "I could be sitting on a beach right now instead of doing this." As she finished her sentence, a horn sounded from the distance. Soon, a solitary light accompanied it, shattering the darkness around it.

"Good-bye, vacation," Olivia murmured as the features of our ride to Capitaltown came into view. As it settled into the station, the conductor sounded the horn again, making my ears contemplate rebellion against the rest of my body.

Did I mention I hate trains?

_ (Author's note: Sorry bout the lull! Life's been a smidgen hectic lately. I intended to release 9 and 10 simultaneously, but I decided to take extra care with 9 because it seems so critical to what the whole thing's all about. 10 will come out shortly, and 11 and 12 will probably receive the treatment I intended here: either a double episode or very closely released. After that, 13 will wrap everything up.)_


	11. The Choo Choo Train of Destiny

Episode 10: The Choo-Choo Train of Destiny

_Brrring._

"Can someone get that?"

_Brrring._

"Anyone?"

_Brring._

"Sorry, I'll get it." Booker dropped his files and picked up the phone. "Fluffytown Police! How may I direct your call?"

Screaming on the other end forced Booker to yank the receiver away from his ear.

"I understand, madam." The screaming didn't stop. "Yes-yes, I understand. I don't know why the train is here either, but-"

"It's not the Dogstar!" Copper shouted from the other room where he and K.K. were examining Edgar's notes.

"I'm being told that there are no Dogstar on the train, madam. Yes, that's right, no Dogstar. Yes, madam, your Gyroids are going to be safe. Thank you for your concern." Booker set down the phone and wiped his brow.

"So," he said, entering Copper's office to find papers spread out all over his desk, "why is the train here again? Sorry for asking."

"I don't know how it got here," Copper replied tersely, "but apparently Edgar is using it to return to Capitaltown and try and sort things out there."

"Yeah," K.K. said, still staring out the window. "There's something about this I don't like, though. It's too easy."

"We don't have much of a choice, though," Copper said, exhaling slowly. "If Edgar doesn't go to rescue Rei, then they might put her on one of the ships, and then she'll be out of reach. Furthermore, he could use the computers at SPOOK to find where the Dogstar ships are located and expose them."

"Which would make them have to leave or risk punishment by the Galactic Nations," K.K. finished. "I know, it sounds doable, but I just hope they can make it happen. In the meantime, we have to hold Fluffytown." Reluctantly, he turned away from the window, picked up one of Edgar's plans, and chuckled at it. "We'd better bring Tom Nook in here. He'll want to see this."

* * *

"Now departing for Capitaltown," came the eerily calm voice over the loudspeaker as the doors to the train shut with a hiss. "I regret to inform all passengers that the dinner car is closed at this time."

"Like anyone could eat at a time like this," Olivia said, sitting at a felt-cushioned seat.

My ear picked up a low growling sound and my hand went straight to the sheath at my belt.

"Sorry," Tangy said, rubbing her stomach, "the food talk had me going."

"Oh." I slowly lifted my hand.

"Remember what we said about being jumpy with the sword?" Olivia said, glaring at me. "I don't want to see anyone's head taken off, especially mine."

I lurched forward as the engine started and the train began to come to life. Smashed against the wall, I felt my own stomach growl.

"Sorry," I said, clenching the seat as the train gained speed. I sucked in my breath, forcing myself to calm down and fight the feeling of being on a roller coaster. Olivia and Tangy didn't help matters much by flopping down on seats opposite each other. Olivia stretched out her arms and yawned.

"What?" she said upon catching me looking at her. "It's comfortable. Might as well relax."

"Yeah," Tangy said, cracking her knuckles, "Consider it a vacation."

"Easy for you to say," I said, looking out the window and wishing I hadn't, "it's your vacation money." I walked down to the end of the cabin and started back up.

"Stop that," Tangy said as I passed her, "pacing makes me nervous."

"I'm not pacing, I'm just..." I stopped. "Okay, so I was pacing. I can't help it, though, especially with--"

There was a large thud on the roof of the train. I reached for Monique's sword and drew it, but the sisters threw themselves in front of me with swords drawn and ready.

"--that."

There was another thud as the roof caved in. One more thud crashed it through, kicking up a layer of debris. A lone figure stood in its midst as it cleared.

"You!" I growled.

"Hi, Edgar." Rover flexed a pair of metallic gauntlets over his forearms. "Ooh, you brought friends, too. No problem!" Inhaling slowly, he knocked his fists together. "Of course, none of you are going to make it off this train."

A flash of white came up behind Rover, clutching a sword to bring down on Rover--

--who raised one arm and blocked it effortlessly.

"You don't believe me, do you?" he asked with a sneer, executing a snap-kick that vaulted Olivia several rows down the corridor. As she struggled to get up, Tangy rushed at Rover and I came in behind her. Rover blocked both swings and threw us off of him. I hit the ground and saw stars for a moment.

"You like these?" he said, flexing his gauntlets. "Lord Nefarious wouldn't give me my new body, so I had to settle for some cool tech instead. So sleek, so powerful...I love it!"

"What a geek," Olivia muttered as she rose to her feet. Rover's ears perked and he turned to glare at her.

"Don't...call...me...that!" he shouted, running back over to her. She threw up her sword to block his first blow, but took the second one and fell to her knees.

"No!" Tangy threw herself on Rover's back, hissing and scratching at him with her claws. Rover flailed about the cabin, trying to get her off, then seized her by the arms and threw her into Olivia. Both sprawled out against the edge of the cabin and did not move. Rover turned to me, an evil grin on his face.

"Hi, Edgar!" he said mockingly to me as I gripped my sword with both hands. "You know, that was a brave display you had back at Fluffytown. Ever since then, there's one thing I've wanted you to do..."

* * *

"He wants me to do WHAT?" Tom Nook fumed, pacing back and forth as K.K. Slider held the paper in his hand detailing Edgar's plan.

"You have to admit it's pretty clever."

"But...but it's my merchandise!" Nook jumped up and down in place. "He wants me to use my merchandise!"

"It's for a good cause," Copper said, crossing his arms. "Consider it a tax writeoff, if you will."

K.K. lost his composure at this and started laughing, pounding his fists against the desk.

"Uhh..." Booker raised his index finger.  
"Look at it this way, Tom," Copper said, ignoring both Booker and K.K, "if the Dogstar invade Fluffytown, they're going to expect a big discount on your products. I think one hundred percent would suit them just fine!"

"One hundred percent..." Tom Nook pulled out a calculator, realized he didn't need it, and let it fall to the floor.

"Uhh...is anyone..."

"Yes, Booker?" All eyes turned to him.

"Is anyone watching the town?"

Everyone glanced nervously at each other.

"Here's an idea, Booker." Copper walked over and patted his partner on the shoulder. "Why don't you do it?"

"Err...yes, sir. Sorry, sir! I'll be more careful..."

* * *

I let out an "eep" as Rover struck the floor where I had just sat and caved it in several inches.

"I know you want me to die," I said, scuttling away from Rover with my hands, "but shouldn't you be a bit more careful about how you use those things?"

"Tell someone who cares," Rover growled as he smashed another section of floor. Grabbing onto a seat, I swung myself up and around Rover, kicking him in the back of the head. As he staggered forward, I felt a brief sense of triumph. That ended when he turned and punched me in the face.

When I came to, five Rovers were coming to attack me. I shook my head and reduced his number to three, but another punch to the face sent me staggering. Turning back, I saw that there was only one Rover now, and he'd gotten stuck in one of the holes he'd made.

"See?" I said, pointing and chuckling. "Should have listened to me, doofus!"

"Don't call me a doofus!" Rover shouted, yanking his foot out of the hole and falling over.

Veins bulging in his wide eyes as he rose to his feet and punched at me again. And again. And again.

"Why won't you just stop?" Rover screamed. "Why do you have to mock me?" He punched at me again, but it sailed over my head as I ducked and his fist broke open the door to the cabin, exposing it to the rush of the outside air.

"Because my mission is too important," I hissed through clenched teeth. "Because there's someone I care about." I brought my sword up with whatever strength I could find as Rover brought his gauntlets down again. The two met with a loud clang and separated. Rover prepared to bring the gauntlets back down before noticing the large crack that had appeared in them.

"And," I finished, panting heavily, "because...I don't...like you."

Currents surged over the surface of the broken device. Flailing his arm around, Rover managed to get it off.

"I don't get it," Rover said, shaking his head at the piece of junk on the floor. "Do all these people mean that much to you?"

"Well, duh," I said, grinning. At the gesture, something snapped in Rover that hadn't yet snapped somehow. He ran at me with abandon, leaving himself totally exposed. One solid kick in the chest sent him through the air and out the open door. Racing to the edge, I saw him tumble several times as he hit the ground and came to a stop. He shouted something that sounded like "Aww, nuts!" and slowly disappeared from view.

"Good riddance," I muttered, resheathing the sword. At this point, I noticed the trail of blood running down my face. As I searched the cabin for a handkerchief, Olivia came to.

"Edgar..." she murmured as if waking up from a dream. "What's wrong? You look terrible."

"Yeah, we all got roughed up quite a bit. Rover's gone, though."

"Oh." Olivia sat upright and blinked rapidly. "Well, that's great. Are we there yet?"

* * *

"Are they here yet?" Copper asked Booker, whose lower half was visible to them as he stood on a ladder, looking out over the town with a pair of binoculars.

"No," Booker said.

"It could take 'em awhile, you know," K.K. said. "Everyone knows their part now, so we might as well chill out." He tipped his chair back.

"I see something!"

The chair fell over with K.K. in it.

"What is it?" Copper asked, urgency rising in his voice.

"Yeah, what is it?" K.K. said groggily.

"Boats...they're coming from the water." He dipped his head back into the station, a fearful look on his face. "The Dogstar are coming."


	12. Guardians of Fluffytown 1

Episode 11: Guardians of Fluffytown, part 1

Big Eddie's head hurt. To be precise, it hurt quite a bit. As the alarms sounded throughout Fluffytown, he stirred in his bed, groaning as he sought something to cover his ears with. The bandages wrapped around his chest from where he'd been burned strained as he sat up.

"Nurse," he slurred, "what is that awful noise?"

"It's the town alarm. Looks like the Dogstar are attacking again." The purple-toned pelican turned and glared at him. "An awful noise to go with your awful face. Wonderful."

Big Eddie snorted at the nurse's response. "I'll remember your attitude, Nurse..." he strained to read her badge. "Phyllis."

"Look, if you're going to be okay, I have to get going," Phyllis said, shedding her white jacket. "I got drafted for dive-bombing duty. They'd better pay me good money for this..." She left the door open behind her, making the alarm from outside even louder.

"Blasted woman," Big Eddie grumbled as he walked slowly to the door and shut it. "Left before I could ask her about getting some painkiller." Muttering curses to himself, he found the medicine cabinet and started rummaging through it for headache medicine.

* * *

From the roof of the police station, Booker and K.K. watched the Dogstar boats as they approached the beach. The townspeople assigned to cover that area were already in place, and the defenses had just been set.

"Can I ask you something?" Booker said. K.K. turned slowly and brought his ear up to indicate he was listening.

"Do you think we can beat them?"

K.K. set his paw against his chin. "Do you want the straight answer or the nice one?"

"That bad, huh?"

"No telling," K.K. said, letting loose a whistle as he counted the ships. "Looks like they brought a lot of firepower. They really want that idol."

Booker nodded, taking in the gravity of the situation. "Can I ask something else?"

"Is this one of those 'I might die, so I want to know all your secrets before I go' things?" K.K. shot back.

"No...it's just..." Booker raised his eyebrow. "Where'd you get that beret?"

"Oh, this?" K.K. pointed to the one on top of his head, angled slightly. "I just picked it up somewhere. Why? Does it make me look cool?"

"Not really..." The two dogs lapsed back into silence. The boats, seven lines on the edge of the horizon, took shape as they came closer to their landing spot. K.K. picked up his walkie-talkie and pushed a button.

"Air team, are you ready?"

"Check!" K.K. heard in two separate female voices.

"As long as no one has a slingshot, I'll be just fine," came the third, a male voice.

K.K. pushed the button again. "Beach team, are you ready?"

"Mannn...no one's ever totally ready, mannn...you just gotta go with the flow, mannn..."

"Ignore my shipmate, arr. We're ready to take anything on down here!" There was a pause. "I will get those cucumbers you promised, right?"

"Yes, Kapp'n," K.K. replied with a sigh. He pushed the button one last time. "Ground team, are you ready?" As he heard over a dozen voices sound in, the realization of how much was at stake finally hit him. _They're not soldiers,_ he thought to himself, _and yet here they are, fighting for everything._

"I hate this," he said out loud, at which Booker stared at him. "I know it's good strategy to choose the battlefield, if you can't choose the battle. Still, it feels like we're just letting them walk in." K.K. shook his head. "You'd better come through, Edgar..."

* * *

"Now letting off at Capitaltown center station," the conductor said over the microphone. "Oncoming passengers are advised that the food cabin is closed for the night. Also, cabin number five is closed due to unforeseen damage. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause..."

Stifling laughter, I stepped off the train in front of Olivia and Tangy onto a dimly lit platform beyond which the infrastructure of Capitaltown lay dormant. The silent skyscrapers jutting into the night looked all too creepy, and I turned back to my company. "Home sweet home," I said with a smile and then went for the stairs that led to the street.

"This is creepy," Tangy said, keeping her hand close to her sword. "I've been here on shopping trips before, but I've never walked around this late at night."

"Kinda funny, isn't it?" Olivia said softly. "In Fluffytown, I never felt unsafe walking around at night."

"Neither did I," I said wistfully.

"Oh, we know." As my face took on the complexion of a tomato, the two girls laughed and passed ahead of me with SPOOK's front gate just around the corner. I saw the laser beam swiveling at them just in time to manage a weak shout: "Hey, watch--"

The beam shot at thin air and dissipated.

"--out."

"No problem," Olivia said, shrugging. "We're stealthy. Kind of like cats. Because...well...we are cats."

"Right." I paused to scratch my chin. "I wonder when SPOOK installed sentry robots. I don't remember them being around..."

"There's three of them," Tangy whispered, emerging from around the corner. "Two of those beam shooters and a guard bot. Probably Dogstar technology."

"Dogstar this, Dogstar that," Olivia fumed. "I wonder how good their saunas are..."

"Why don't we go ask them?" I said, kicking myself for forgetting I had an ID card. "I'll just..." The realization hit me. "NOT use my ID card to get in."

Olivia blinked. "Why n-ohhh. It'll alert them." She scratched at her fur, smiling weakly. "My bad."

"Livvy..." Tangy was looking the fence over. "are you forgetting something?"

"Well, I'd almost forgotten that we could be on a vacation right now. Other than that, I don't think so..."

Tangy smacked her head. "We're feline. This is a fence. Feline? Fence?"

"Ohhhhh!" Olivia's eyes lit up as if a light had been turned on. "Grab my hand, Edgar," she commanded, snickering. I gave her my hand and instantly regretted it as she vaulted into the air, over the fence, and nearly snagged me on the high pole.

"There!" She dusted herself off while I struggled to get up. "Looks like the hard part is over."

* * *

"And here comes the hard part..." K.K. Slider muttered as the Dogstar boats slowed down on approach to the shore. "All right, aerial unit. Go for it."

From the roof of the Fluffytown museum, K.K. Slider's orders buzzed through the walkie-talkie. "Roger that," Pete said, then put away the unit. "Okay, girls, let's do it!"

"Wait," Pelly said, plucking out a stray feather, "can I do something first? Just incase one of us doesn't come back?"

"S-sure..." Pete blushed as Pelly pecked him on the cheek with her beak. An audible sigh was heard from just behind them.

"At this rate," Phyllis said, rolling her eyes, "I hope I don't come back."

"It'll be okay, Sis," Pelly said, patting her sister's shoulder, then turning toward the battle. "We'll look out for each other. Now let's do it."

The three pelicans took off into the sky, clutching their payload of leaves tightly.

"Remember, hold them like they're your own children!" Pete yelled as they approached the water.

"Oh, that's a great analogy," Phyllis retorted. "Since, you know, we're going to be dropping them and everything. Why don't we just-"

"Phyllis! Two o'clock!" Pelly shouted, and Phyllis banked sharply to avoid a burst of fire from the ground. She descended sharply, growling to herself.

"I just had these feathers trimmed!" she screamed, letting loose her payload. Before the Dogstar commanders could pull their vehicles back into the boats, they were crushed underneath the force of several falling couches. An armoire from Pete struck the first of the boats, tilting it back into the water and rupturing its hull.

"Yesss!" Pete hissed, but stopped when he saw more boats coming.

"We wasted too many bombs," Pelly said, dropping her payload.

"No," Phyllis replied, "There's just too many of them. We've gotta get more furniture."

Pelly looked back at the shore, where Dogstar soldiers were leaving the boats at a rapid rate and were preparing to advance on the town. "Can we get back in time?" she asked weakly.

"We'll have to try," Pete said, flapping his wings faster to get back to the museum roof. They reached it and immediately set to gathering leaves when a series of loud footsteps drew their attention away.

"I don't know about anyone else," Big Eddie said, looking up at them, "but I have a splitting headache. Is there anyone I can go beat up?"

Without hesitation, the three pelicans pointed toward the shore.

"Smashing," Big Eddie said, pounding his fists together. "Literally smashing. I'll be right back."

* * *

The lobby of SPOOK International was just as breathtaking as it was every time I entered, even after having worked there so long. The doors open up into a large circular room that breaks off into several corridors at the other end. At the entrance is a waiting room with several plush couches and all the best magazines. Passing one of the couches, I remembered how I'd been reprimanded for sleeping there once. At the center of the room was a giant desk at which a lone secretary sat while the pulse of the entire organization went through her. I saw Diane and my smile faded.

"Oh, hi Edgar!" She waved and then went back to filing her nails.

"Hi, Diane," I said through clenched teeth.

"Oh, is this about those expense accounts?" She rolled her eyes. "I SAID I was sorry--"  
"No..." I looked around. "Isn't it kind of a bad time to be so cheerful?" She mimicked my glances, then stared back at me and shrugged.

"Out of the way," Olivia growled, pushing me aside. "Since your employee seems to be so inept at finding his way around, let's do this the direct way." She slammed her arms down on the desk. "Where's Lord Nefarious?"

"Lord Nefarious?" Diane blinked a couple of times. "Well, he's quite busy at the moment. Do you have an appointment?"

"Yes, we have an appointment," Olivia said slowly. "An appointment to kick his sorry little rump off this planet!"

"Hmmm..." Diane browsed the file. "Sorry, I don't see that under his 10:30. This says yoga."

"Diane..." I spoke her name as if piranhas were biting my legs off. "We don't have time for this."

"And I don't have time for your attitude, Edgar," Diane shot back, cocking her head to one side. "I'm only trying to SAVE you the trouble of getting TRAPPED in a bundle of red tape." She cocked her head to one side again. "Sorry, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today."

"So..." I cocked my head to the same side. "That way is a...?"

"Trap."

I nodded. "And that way..."

"Trap."

I pointed my index finger across the corridors.

"Trap, trap, trap."

"Crap!"

"Edgar!" Diane sat up sharply. "Watch your yap."

"We could use a map," Olivia said.

_Tap. Tap. Tap._

Everyone looked over at Tangy. "Sorry," she said.

"Why don't we just get going?" I offered, and was met with silent nods. We started off down the corridor that wasn't trapped. I took one step into the narrow hallway and nearly lost my foot to a guillotine blade that fell from the ceiling.

"Diane!" I yelled back at her.

"Well, sorry!" Diane rolled her eyes. "So I forgot...sue me. Just come back in one piece, okay?"

"I'll try." Stepping gingerly over the guillotine blade, I dashed down the corridor and reached for the up button on the elevator, only to smash Tangy's hand when she reached it first. She kept her glare on me as the elevator reached our floor.

"Hmmm..." I surveyed the buttons. "If I were an evil overlord, where would I keep my office?"

Olivia smashed the button for the rooftop with her paw.

"That's where," she said with a grin.

The ride to the top felt surreal. The slow whine of the cable as it carried us upward was matched only by the elevator music, which sounded to me like a bad rendition of K.K. Technopop.

"Hey, why does the elevator go up to the roof anyway?" Olivia asked. "That's kinda weird."

"It's SPOOK," I answered with a smile. "We're always watching the sky."

"Oh." Olivia crossed her arms, leaning back. "No wonder you're all such airheads." The elevator stopped with a sudden jerk and threw her against me. As the door opened, she removed herself from me and muttered, "Don't get any ideas" with a wry smile.

We stepped off the elevator and found ourselves staring at the back of a lone figure, wearing a black cape, looking out over the city. Olivia and Tangy quietly drew their sword and stepped quietly to each side as if to flank him.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," the figure said.

"Oh, really?" Olivia growled. "Why's that?"

"Few people who have challenged me have been in much condition to say anything about it." Lord Nefarious turned his head and I caught a flash of his eyepatch. "Ahh, the SPOOK agent. Come to save your precious little town?"

"Something like that," I replied, Monique's blade in my hand.

"Well, then," Nefarious said cordially, turning and pushing his cape away, "Let's not delay, hrm?"

Taking a deep breath, I charged.


	13. Guardians of Fluffytown 2

Episode 12: Guardians of Fluffytown (part 2)

The battle for Fluffytown raged around K.K. Slider. Ahead of him at the beach, Kapp'n and Pascal were holding off the Dogstar infantry with a cleverly-designed seashell cannon. As for K.K. Himself, he had a sudden splitting headache.

"Is something wrong?" Copper yelled over the action as he observed K.K. massaging his temple.

K.K. Slider groaned. "Something terrible has happened."

Copper's eyes widened. "What is it? Is it the sound of millions of voices crying out in unison?"

"No, it's..." K.K. Slider shook his head. "Someone...somewhere...is butchering my music."

A piano was heard in the distance. Thirty wrong keys sounded off at the same time as the piano hit the nozzle of a Dogstar tank's cannon, causing it to fire into the ground and flip itself over. Three pelicans gave thumbs-up as they circled back toward the museum.

"You know how you say your music wants to be free?" came a voice from further in the town. K.K and Copper looked up and saw Tom running in, his stun rifle out and ready. "Maybe you ought to think about that, huh?"

"Hey, man, don't rag on my stuff!" K.K growled. "Or at least do it after the battle."

Tom's smile wore off as a Dogstar tank fired a shell that sailed just past him.

"All right, boys, let's get dangerous."

* * *

"Is everybody here?" the curator Blathers asked to the crowd in the Fluffytown Museum, which had been voted the emergency shelter by everyone but him. 

"Pretty much," Booker said, "unless you count K.K. Slider and Copper, who are still out there holding the Dogstar soldiers back."

"And that annoying moose," Phyllis said, wrapping a bandage around her wing.

"Not to mention Edgar, Rei, Olivia, and Tangy," Big Top said.

"And my Gyroids aren't here," Melba said with a sniffle.

"Monique and I aren't here," Kiki piped in, her eyes blank. "Oh, wait, yes we are."

"Perhaps a better question to ask," Blathers said, massaging his hands nervously, "is 'Who is here?'"

"Well, I know my nephews are safe," Tom Nook proclaimed, reaching down to pat Timmy's head and patting thin air instead. "At least, I think they are..."

Celeste ran in from the insect room. "There's been a theft!" Gasps ran across the room.

"A theft?" Booker repeated. "They didn't get the idol, did they?"

"Oh, no." Celeste shook her head. "It's still-well, I can't repeat that, now, can I?" She flashed a devious grin. "There is a note, though. It's from Timmy Nook, age 8."

"Oh, my..." Tom Nook grabbed for the note and read it with frantic speed. "They said they can't sit around while the town is under attack, so they grabbed the insect collection and do hereby promise to return it later."

"Oh, that won't be necessary," Blathers said with a curt smile.

"Wait!" Big Top stood up. "If they can't sit around, then neither can we! We've got to fight for the place we love, just like so many others have done and are doing right now!"

"Big Top..." Melba looked up with adoration. "That was beautiful."

"Well, I thought it was superhero-ish," he replied, shrugging. "Now let's go! For Fluffytown!"

"For Fluffytown!" echoed the villagers, who proceeded to ransack the museum for anything that could be used as a weapon. The skeletons of dinosaurs, like their long-dead predecessors, fell to their knees as their bones were scrapped to be used as clubs and spears. Even the fish fell prey to their thirst for redemption against the Dogstar invaders.

"No!" Blathers screamed. "What are you people doing? It took archaeologists hundreds of years to reconstruct these skeletons!"

"And it's taken them fifteen seconds to destroy them," Celeste said, holding back laughter as Melba marched out of the door wielding a very confused-looking coelacanth.

"Oh, the horror! Oh, the owlity! Oh, the--"

"Oh, brother?" Celeste tapped her brother on the shoulder. "Guess what?"

"What?" He turned.

"Dung beetle!" She screamed, uncupping her hands. Phased by the unorthodox attack, Blathers wobbled and then collapsed.

"That was kinda mean," Bluebear said, a water trail behind her from the arowana she had been dragging across the floor.

"Yeah." Celeste shrugged. "Always wanted to do it, though." She winked at Bluebear. "Good luck!"

* * *

Lord Nefarious yawned as our blades interlocked with his. "Do you three have to be so predictable?" he said, throwing us off of him. Olivia and Tangy sprang back from the attack and lunged again, while I slowly stirred, the height starting to get to me. 

"Doesn't matter if we're predictable," Tangy said as her attack was blocked, "if we can beat you anyway!"

"Ha!" Nefarious chuckled as he threw off Olivia and Tangy again. "That's what I like to hear!"

"You're not going to succeed, Lord Nefarious!" I proclaimed, finally standing up. "I don't know what it's like on other planets, but on this one we fight for what we care about!"

"Oh, really? Do you think that's a compliment to your planet?" Nefarious rolled his eyes. "What would you say if I told you that most of the worlds we've conquered welcomed us with open arms?"

"Only because they were afraid of you!" I retorted, stabbing a finger at Lord Nefarious. Undeterred by the sudden giggling coming from the cats, I proceeded. "Why should anyone accept a rule based on absolute power when they can retain their own sovereignty? Isn't that what the Galactic Nations is for?"

"The Galactic Nations..." Lord Nefarious chuckled. "They shall be our lapdogs now! Not the other way around!"

"No!" I pleaded. "Government by the people for the people is a hallmark of freedom! Snuffing out such a wonderful, albeit really creepy and secretive, organization like the Galactic Nations will only extinguish the flames of freedom that have somehow spread through the galaxy, ignoring the fact that fire can't exist without oxygen, and impose a dark shadow of tyranny and suffering!"

"Take that!" I heard whispered, and then more giggling.

"What?" I wheeled on Olivia and Tangy.

"Edgar..." Olivia stood up, stifling laughter. "...don't take this personally, but we're kicking you out of the battle."

"...Huh?"

"You're getting too philosophical!" Tangy whined. "It's boooooring!"

"It really is," Lord Nefarious added with a sympathetic nod.

"But...but..." As Olivia and Tangy each seized me by an arm and dragged me toward the elevator, I struggled to comprehend the situation and totally failed.

"You don't have to fight all battles with swords and violence!" I shouted as Olivia pushed the button for the lobby. "We can work this out with words and diplomacy!"

"Yes, but we like swords and violence!" Olivia said with a sudden insane smile.

"It's true," Lord Nefarious piped in. "It really is true."

"Quiet!" Olivia snapped. "No one asked you." As the elevator doors began to close, she turned back to me. "Go save your girl, Edgar. We'll take care of him."

"But-"

"No buts! Oh, and we'll try not to rough him up too badly." The last I saw of Olivia before the doors closed was a wink and a sparkle in her eye. As the elevator started moving and K.K. Technopop came on again, I pressed myself against the wall and sulked.

_Kicked out of my very own climactic battle...how low can one get?_

_

* * *

_

"How low can we get?" Bluebear asked Melba as they each swung their giant fishes at hapless Dogstar soldiers, who fell over into a pile of their unconscious comrades. As they stopped to take a breath, they observed the Nook twins releasing a cage full of bees into a large cluster of the soldiers, who ran into each other in an attempt to get away from the rampaging insects.

"Forget I even asked," Bluebear said. "Oh! We need to check on your house!"

Melba gasped. "That's right! My precious gyroids!" She hopped over the pile of unconscious soldiers and ran toward her house, swinging her fish into the face of an oncoming soldier and smashing his glasses as she bowled him over. Dropping the fish, she quickly unlocked the door and was greeted by an earthquake.

"Wh-what's happening?" she said, shrinking back from the entrance as her gyroids, defying all logic, seemed to get bigger. Within mere moments, their annoying chirps and whistles echoed across Fluffytown, bringing everyone to a halt.

"Timpy?" Melba said weakly. "Is that you?" She was answered by the sound of a giant percussion instrument that knocked her off her feet. Unable to do anything else, she looked up at her gyroids as they broke through the roof of her house and rose to a towering height over the rest of the town. The timpanoid's call was answered by a cacophony of sounds, last of which was a resounding cry of "Dekkoid!" that forced everyone to cover their ears.

"Amazing..." Melba breathed. "I thought it was just a legend."

"What?" Bluebear said, her eyes also transfixed to the spectacle taking place before them.

"There was a legend about gyroids defending an ancient house from attack by raiders." Melba rubbed her eyes to make sure she wasn't seeing illusions. "I never thought it was actually true, though."

"Yeah," Bluebear said blankly. "Poor Edgar. He still owes a lot on that house, doesn't he?"

Melba nodded. "I guess the question now is whether the Dogstar or the gyroids are a greater threat. Maybe we need to tell them about this."

"One step ahead of you," K.K. Slider said. They whirled around to see the remaining Dogstar soldiers waving white flags. "Kind of ironic, isn't it? Fluffytown is safe, and yet Fluffytown's also been destroyed."

"It'll take at least a week to recapture all of these insects," said Copper, who turned and ran as a scorpion pursued him. "Okay, maybe two!"

"At least we're safe," Tom said. "Now if we can only say the same for Edgar, Rei and the others."

* * *

_I hope the others are safe,_ I thought to myself as the elevator opened on the first floor. Clutching the sword in my hands, I prepared to run through the corridor swinging wildly. Instead, I charged out of the elevator to find it completely empty. 

"What in the world?" Sneaking back over to the lobby, I saw Diane absorbed in her work, or more likely the music streaming out of her giant pink headphones. She saw me walk up and, a disappointed look on her face, took them off.

"I was at the best part," she said.

"Diane...where in the world are all the guards?"

"Guards?" Diane blinked a few times. "Oh, they're on break. They're all in the cafeteria."

"Break? What? It's the middle of the night!"

"What can I say? SPOOK has a long tradition of being nice to its employees." Diane winked at me and slid me a set of keys. "Rei's in the basement. Go get her."

"Thanks!" I sprinted back to the elevator and, pausing for a moment, decided to take the stairs instead. _Poor K.K. Slider. _

The basement of SPOOK was, appropriately enough, spooky. Since it was used mainly for storing cleaning supplies and equipment, the builders decided no one needed ample lighting. I guess that meant no one needed to be able to walk around in it at night without having a significant blood pressure jump. The only light came from bulbs that swung from high chains that creaked from old age. The floor answered every step I took with a splash of water that seeped into my shoes and made me shiver. Or maybe it was the anticipation that made me shiver.

"Rei?" I called out, careful not to disturb any guards that might be around. Walking down the corridor, I repeated her name again.

"In here!" I finally heard, and turned to see a closed door.

"I'm coming, eventually," I replied as I fought the keys and the dim light to find the way in. After a few minutes, I got the right one, and turned the knob only to see Rei bolt through it and hurl herself against me.

"I...I never thought I'd see you again..." Her words echoed through my body, and for the first time in awhile I felt truly peaceful. She looked up at me and smiled, her eyes rimmed with tears. "What's going on in Fluffytown? Is everyone okay?"

"More or less," I explained as we headed back to the elevator. "Olivia and Tangy are fighting the leader of the Dogstar on the roof." I paused, but got no reaction from her. "So, I guess you knew they were Whiskers, huh?"

Rei nodded.

"Figures." I pressed the button for the fifth floor.

"Why the fifth floor?" Rei asked.

"There's one more thing I need to take care of," I replied.

We stepped off the elevator into a giant room with not-quite-as-giant monitors and lots of really huge consoles. Like most of the building at night, it was also dark, and I nearly tripped over a protruding file cabinet on my way to the computer.

"What is this place?" Rei asked, hugging her arms close.

"Intergalactic telephone service," I explained as I booted the machine. "I've got to make a phone call." I ran my fingers deftly across the buttons and an image came up on the giant monitor.

"This is the _Porpoise._ Please respond."

"Gulliver? Is that you?" I held my breath.

"Ahh, it's my good friend! Mr. Potato Head! How has your primitive culture been doing?"

I exhaled deeply. "Better now that you're here. Listen, I'm here to call in that favor."

"Favor?" Gulliver blinked wildly through his helmet. "I don't know what favor you're referring to."

"Yes, you do." I couldn't stop myself from grinning. "Look, we've had a Dogstar problem lately. I need you to fly in, take a few pictures of the fleet they're hiding somewhere around the planetary orbit, and take them to the Galactic Nations. Think you can do that?"

"Hmmm..." Gulliver paused in thought. "So you're using blackmail on me to get blackmail on someone else."

"Yes."

"Which means they'll eventually try and get blackmail on you to try and get blackmail on me."

"I think you're thinking too-"

"Great scott!" Gulliver smacked his console and nearly cut off the communication. "Don't you know what this means? The entire universe runs on blackmail! All I need to do is create a blackmail engine with a flux capacitor and I can sail the stars forever!"

"Riiiiight...but you do promise to get those photos first, right?"

"Of course, my young tuber-inclined friend. Today, the Dogstar. Tomorrow...infinity!"

"Go for it, Gulliver." I flashed him a weak thumbs-up. "Edgar out." I shut off the machine.

"Wow," Rei said. "That was quick."

"Yeah, well, intergalactic roaming charges are a real pain." I shrugged.

"It's amazing..." Rei laid her hands on the console. "I always knew there was more to the universe than the one little planet I was born on, but even after getting to see what's beyond the stars, it's still so amazing. And yet..." She trailed off, sighing deeply. "After all I've seen, the only place I want to be is home." She reached out and took my hand. "Can we go home to Fluffytown, Edgar?"

I squeezed her hand. "Of course. Let's go home." As we stepped back into the elevator and prepared to hopefully join the others, I thought about how ironic that statement was. _Maybe home really is where the heart is. _


	14. The Place Where I Belong

(Note: I've had a lot of fun doing this, and I hope you've all enjoyed it. Thanks again for reading!)

Episode 13: The Place Where I Belong

**Stardate 314159.26535-Galactic Nations News Network Transmission Number #3997494**

_This is GNNN with your early morning news! Early morning on Proxima Centauri, that is. Ha! I made a funny!_

_Ahem. A GN tribunal on Mars is set to bring up charges against General James McFido of the Dogstar Empire later today. Also known as "Lord Nefarious," McFido is charged with incursion against an undeveloped world, stemming from his thwarted attempt to recover the famous Dogstar Idol from the small town of Fluffytown on the planet Earth. The Idol is currently being held under tight security in an undisclosed GN complex. General McFido's trial was delayed several months while he recovered from extensive injuries suffered during a battle at Capitaltown's SPOOK International, including several lacerations and a serious bout of catscratch fever. Former Dogstar soldier-turned-rock-idol K.K. Slider will be holding a special benefit concert to raise funds for the reconstruction of Fluffytown. For unknown reasons, Mr. Slider has declined to play his trademark triple-platinum single, K.K. Technopop. _

_In other news: the galaxy's turnip prices have hit an all-time low today, prompting the Intergalactic Turnip Federation to accelerate their plans to put out a new ad campaign. Sow Joan of the Federation could not be reached for comment. _

**-end transmission-**

I switched off the monitor and ran for the elevator, hoping I hadn't stretched the definition of "break" too literally. I'm sure Big Eddie would understand, since he was also wrapped up in the great battle for Fluffytown, but I'm not one to hedge my bets on such things. Besides, we've been busy lately. The Loch Ness monster attacked several more tourists last week and I've got to fly in to testify as a character witness. Then there's the size 45 pair of shoes we have to fly in for Bigfoot. Finally, there were a couple of personal matters...

The elevator doors closed behind me and I started humming K.K. music to make up for the lack of it on the elevator, figuring that my rendition would be far better than theirs. My palm started sweating as I clutched the form in my hand. Finally, the door opened to the lobby of Big Eddie's office and I took a seat, setting the folded paper on my lap.

_Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock._ The clock chimed on as if mocking me. The pit in my stomach expanded and contracted with each rise and fall of my chest. _Everything should be fine,_ I thought to myself. _It's not an unreasonable request, and the Daily Kee-mo-atah report told me it was a good day to ask the boss for favors. It'll go okay...right?_

"Big Eddie will see you now," Diane said with a smile. "Good luck, Edgar!"

I opened the ornate double-doors to find not only Big Eddie, but the entire executive board of SPOOK sitting before me at a long table. All chairs spun so that their inhabitants could face me.

"Am I interrupting anything, sir?" I took a step back, preparing to leave.

"Interrupting anything?" Big Eddie laughed and pounded the table before a woman by him, concerned for the welfare of the table, asked him to stop. "You're the entire reason we're meeting like this, Edgar."

My vision started to swim a bit. I held out the form, half-drenched with my own sweat. "I...I have a request--"

"Yes, yes, I know all about that." Big Eddie waved me off with his hand. "You think Fluffytown's weird enough to set up a division of SPOOK there."

"How did you..."

"I know these things." Big Eddie tapped his head with his finger. "You also left one of your forms in the copy machine. Anyway, I brought the board in to do a formal vote on the matter." He cleared his throat, prompting one board member to drop to the floor in fear. "All in favor of establishing Fluffytown as the newest branch of SPOOK International--"

"Aye!" came a few sparse voices.

"I wasn't done yet!" Big Eddie bellowed. He cleared his throat again once the board members had taken themselves out of duck-and-cover position.

"--and establishing as its director Edgar, who shall also be commended for his efforts in preventing the recovery of the Dogstar Empire's famous idol by the forces of its renegade commander, for inspiring the people of Fluffytown to fight for themselves in securing their continued freedom and welfare, for participating in a dangerous rescue mission in this very building, and, most importantly, for getting me headache medicine when I needed it most--"

"Aye!" came the annoyed reply from every board member.

"Motion passed." Big Eddie folded his hands together and smiled. "You've got a train to catch, Mr. Director. I don't think that's going to be a problem this time, is it?"

"No, sir." Nodding to the board members, and throwing a quick salute to Big Eddie, I left the room. Once I was sure the door was closed, I jumped in the air and pumped my fist in joy.

"Ahem!" Stopping, I turned to Diane, who thrust out her finger at the "No Jumping For Joy" sign.

"Sorry."

-----------------------

"Attention all passengers!" came the voice over the intercom, barely drowning out the K.K. Bossa playing through my CD player. "Now approaching Fluffytown station. Departure in ten minutes."

I checked my watch one last time and felt a wave of relief wash over me. I'd spent the entire trip without having one negative thought about trains. In fact, I couldn't recall any negative thoughts. Even the food seemed pretty good.

As Fluffytown came into view, my unshakable good mood was shaken a little. Despite all our best efforts to protect Fluffytown, it was still pretty much destroyed by the Gyroid mutations. The irony wasn't lost on me or anyone else, but from what I saw, it looked like everyone had done a good job rebuilding their damaged homes. "Poor Melba," I muttered out loud as I saw her home, which had gone from being a pile of sticks to being a more highly organized pile of sticks. I felt myself smile when I thought about the new Gyroid Specialist job she would have under my wing.

The train applied its brakes and began to whine its way to a stop. As it pulled up to the station, I saw everyone in town standing at the platform. There was Tom Nook, craning his neck to see me while his nephews stood on his shoulders and did the same. Kapp'n and Pascal looked nervous; I supposed it was because they were away from water. Olivia and Tangy each waved at me with one hand and supported Monique with the other; she'd healed up nicely but was getting used to being out and about again. Kiki stood behind them, stretching her short paw above Monique's head to get it in. I felt a whoosh of air above me, and ducked my head out the window to see Pelly, Phyllis, and Pete flying cover for the train. Copper and Booker stood guard at the posts of the platform, each trying to look as official as possible while beaming from cheek to cheek. Somewhere in the crowd, I knew I'd see the others I hoped to see: Big Top, Melba, Bluebear, Tom, and, well, that other important someone who I'd promised I would see again.

The train stopped and the doors opened. I picked up my suitcases and walked out onto the platform. Everyone stood back and unfolded a banner; it said "Welcome back to the place you belong."

"Isn't it wonderful?" Tom Nook said, clapping me on the back while his nephews ran circles around me. "This will, of course, be part of your tab, which I'm happy to say is quite exhorbitant!"

"...Excuse me?" I felt a cold wind blow through me.

"Yes, well, it was my understanding that you were to be Director of SPOOK's Fluffytown Division, hrm? And to spearhead this undertaking, you would need vast amounts of added space to store all your little gadgets, yes?"

"This is true," I replied, feeling my heart sink.

"Well, I took the liberty of making the necessary alterations to your house! I was certain you'd appreciate it. As to the matter of the bill..." Tom Nook rubbed his hands together. "I heard you plan to live here a long time, which is quite good, because it takes quite a long time to pay off three billion bells, hrm?" Tom Nook burst into laughter while an integral part of my insides burst with horror.

"Edgar..." Someone was waving their hand in front of me. Someone female and very cute.

"Are you an angel?" I said groggily.

"Might as well be," she said with a wink, and I realized it was Rei. She clasped my hand and drew herself closer to me. "Oh, by the way, I want you to have this." She gave me a piece of tinfoil. For some reason, it felt like it was enchanted. Yet, it was still a piece of tinfoil.

"Please tell me this is magical tinfoil that's worth three billion bells," I pleaded.

"Noooo..." Rei grinned. "But it is worth something else. Just loop it around and place it on my finger."

I complied. "Okay, now what?"

"Now we'll be together for a long time, silly!" She threw her arms around me and I slowly realized what had just happened. The residents of Fluffytown broke out into boisterous applause, and I think I even saw Nook blowing his nose. Or maybe he was just showing off his gold-plated handkerchief.

"Yes, well, that's quite priceless, hrm?" He clapped me on the shoulder. "Which is too bad, considering the price you've got to pay!" He chuckled and wiped his eye. "Now then, Mr. Director, shall we show you to your new headquarters?" He stepped off the platform and ambled off in the direction of my house. With Rei holding my hand, the cheapest engagement ring in the history of the known universe on her finger, I followed him back into the craziest place I've ever known: the place where I belong.

Crisis in Fluffytown: The End


End file.
